August 9, 2007

  • Conundrum

     

    When I was in my twenties and hanging out with friends, the conversation often turned to things like ”what if we won the lottery?” or “don’t you wish you were born into insane wealth?”    We spent a lot of time sitting around planning how we wouldn’t have to work and we could do whatever we want etc. etc. etc.  The common theme being – wouldn’t it be great if we could go into work tomorrow and just quit.

    Now that I’m in my thirties and am a stay-at-home Mom, these same people often ask things like, “so you are still just home with the kids?” or “when will you put the kids in daycare so you can go back to work” or “don’t you miss working?”. 

    Why is not working so that you can stay home with your kids viewed as being worse than not working so that you can stay home because you won the lottery?

Comments (401)

  • I totally agree… I want to stay at home when I have kids and my boyfriend says it’s just not going to happen that way.  These days everyone has to work… whats up with that… would we all still go to work even after we won the lottery???

  • Agreed…I congratulate you on your stand as a stay at home mom! I think it is great…and who says you aren’t working.  I would say a stay at home mom has the hardest but the BEST job ever!!  KEEP IT UP!

    God Bless you,

    just a xanga friend

  • Thanks for your kind comments, friend. You know how people always say “I have good news and I have bad news?” Well, friend, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news? You made featured content on Xanga. The bad news? You made featured content on xanga. lol

    Prepare to be inundated with traffic and comments! The vast majority will be kind comments from good people. Don’t pay attention to the other ones. You are a wonderful woman. I am so glad you are here.

    Old hat

  • wow…that’s a very good question…my best friend and I have had that conversation several times…I honestlly could not say whether or not I’ll be a stay-at-home mom when I have children, but I definitely understand the inclination.

  • But…you are working. Sure, you might not get an actual paycheck but you are doing one of the hardest jobs on the planet; raising children. People don’t seem to realize that. I just hope that once I get around to having children myself, I am just as fortunate in getting to stay at home doing the same job you are. ^_^

  • You have the most critical job in all of Western civilization. Literally.

    Don’t ever forget that.

  • Well, I am in my twenties, and I know if I won the lottery I’d buy a lot of movies, my own island, and live there with the girlfriend, screwing around and watching movies all the time, and only going inland to eat.

    Because frankly, people aren’t worth it.

  • Hey what a good way to put it!

  • As a mother of four, I think I can safely say that I work HARD, and the only payment is knowing that I’m bringing up happy, healthy kids.

  • I am turning 30 next month, and I still ponder the question on what will I do if I won the lottery.  I think a lot of people ask why you are sitting at home with the kids is because this might drive people crazy.  I, for one, cannot imagine devoting 24 hours of my life to cleaning and taking care of children.  But I am saying this now, because I am not a mother yet.  And I think it is great for you that you can stay home and care for the kids, because before you know it… they will be all grown up :)

  • Well not working so because you won the lottery adds that implied financial cushion that you got a lot of cash-o in the bank-o and you could spend time doing other things wihtout working. People might even veiw you working as a sign of greed (depending on how much money you won.) Well now since you have not won the lottery, well firstly people will see it as you putting pressure on your significant other who in this case is the ‘breadwinner.’ They might even brand you as a leech. Because in this case there is no financial cushion and try as you may to explain that you want to spend more time with kids, people will look right through that fact and assume that you are simply lazy and selfish.

    M.D.

  • well, i would ask, “are you bored?”

  • This is why I dont have children. Let me explain. I dont have kids because I could never stay home with them. They would drive me friggin insane. My nephews when I visit them are enough. And I know it would be different cause they are mine, but I dont want them..ever. But you should be able to stay home at will regardless of children or no children. But to be honest I would ask if you were going to pick up a hobby or something to give you a break from the kids once in a while. My brotherinlaw stays at home and takes care of the kids and he almost runs out of the house when my sister gets home to go run errands. He does construction on the house but its so hard to do much of anything besides kids when you ahve them. Id tell your friends you like being a stay at home mom. If thats what please you,w hy do you need more?

  • I WISH I could be in a place one day where I can hold the position of mother and care-taker as a full-time 24/7 on-the-job position.  You are lucky!

    I’m 24.  My friends and I are ready to retire, but we would never consider being a stay-at-home mom a LACK of a job.  Heck… it’s more work without a steady check.  If you’re lucky, you get an “I love you” and a decorative construction paper birthday card.

    I don’t know why people don’t give that job more respect.  They need to.

    I applaud you!  Keep up the excellent work.

  • Parenting practices control.

    I don’t think anyone in the work place has any of that, seeing as how there is always a difference of opinion…

    And I would associate winning the lottery with islands and seclusion as well. Not so much controlling what the kids watch on the tube…but controlling my own land and how I use my time (which might mean not using it.)

  • bravo to you.  I just got laid off from my job and will get to draw Unemployment for the first time in my life. I am thrilled….now I will get to stay home and  write romance books full time.  the only thing about being a stay-at-home mom is if you EVER have to go back to the workplace and your jobs skills are a decade old  …keeping up with technology is a full-time job in itself.  and it’s nice to see somebody who knows what a conumdrum is.

    shelby stone    The Gelding by Stardust Press 8.1.7

    Carney Knowledge by Mardi Gras Press 7.25.07

  • I was a stay at home mom when my kids were young. Now they’re both in college so we’re empty nesters. I don’t know why SAH moms don’t get the credit they deserve. It is the hardest job in the world to be with the kids 24/7, but in the end it is very rewarding when, like me, you see them move successfully into adulthood and out on their own.

  • This is strange…ah, I’m with Slick Drips…I’m not sure if I have the exact same mentality as her but ‘are you (indeed) bored’…or are you in a venting kind of mood? Answer me this: Can you act?

  • great input.

  • But do as you will. My mom was a stay-at-home mom who raised others` kids as well.

  • as a mom of three (ages now 23, 17, 15), I stayed at home until the youngest went to kindergarten…and it was well worth it. the Lord will bless you because you are working more than full time. and now that they are older, I have found you need to be home when they are home – there is so much they could get in to that would be harmful to them. so blessings in staying at home ~ you won’t regret it, and ignore anyone that tells you otherwise. melinda

  • I know, you can’t please everyone.

    No matter what you do, somebody has an opinion.

    keep up the good work.

  • My mom stayed at home with us and I am incredibly grateful for that–I think you’re doing the right thing. :)   And, your children are adorable. :)

  • Congrats on the front page! This is a great topic!
    This is so true. Used to be that most moms were stay at home moms…now its like you are looked down on. Isn’t raising your own offspring one of the most important jobs you’ll ever have? So it doesn’t pay well, but the kisses and hugs are better than any paycheck I have ever received. Although, a paid vacation would be a very welcome benefit.
    Even if I won the lottery, I would love to go back to school and still work. It just would be a job that I loved, beause face it, otherwise I wouldn’t have to work.

  • In your 20′s winning the lottery meant a life of irresponsibility. Living the life of Paris Hilton. Now that you are older and holding down the greatest job in the world, the irresponsible ones are the ones who put the kids in daycare so they won’t have be around their kids.

    My wife is a former daycare provider. You would not believe the number of times she was asked if she could watch kids past midnight (she started at 8 am), or watch the kids over night and even for a weekend. These parents did not want to have the responsibility of raising their children. They wanted to keep playing.

    Keep up the awesome job!

  • I’m glad that when I was growing up my mom stayed home with my two brothers and I. But now she’s back working, and now I worry that my other two siblings won’t have such a strong connection with her. :-

  • Whoa! If I, as a man, had that option of staying at home with the kids (if I had any kids) and cleaning the house along with doing other miscellaneous tasks that need attending to, I would so be down with that. Of course that would mean that I married a successful woman who makes more than enough money to support a family.

    Most people think that a stay-at-home parent doesn’t have a very difficult time “working” at home as compared to their counter-part who actually has what society labels as a “job”. I’m sure, for the most part, people don’t think of stay-at-home parenting as a job because you’re not getting paid, per say. And there are some “stay-at-home” mothers that don’t do a darn thing because they have maids and nannies. I could hardly call that parenting or a job. But, I could guarantee everyone would agree that the well-being of one’s family and home is far more important than a job.

    The major difference between staying home and sitting on one’s rear after winning the lottery as opposed to being a stay-at-home parent is that if a person won the lottery, neither of the parents would have to work. Besides, it is expected of lottery winners to do rash things like quit their jobs and stay at home. Plus, if both parents get to spend time with each other and their family, it’s more fair than the mom being the only one who gets to enjoy her life. And, it is much more stressful to actually leave the house to go to work, to work under someone, to have to deal with the commute to and from work, to have to deal with a bunch of people you don’t like, and all the other issues with having a job. Compared to staying home and spending time with your loved ones and doing other things that don’t require someone else’s permission or command… compared to all of that, jobs suck!

    Plus, this is a new era we live in now. Woman are making more dough than guys. It should be us guys who get to stay home and go fly kites with the kids this time. Hahaha! But, a stay-at-home dad is considered even worse than a stay-at-home mom. I’m sure there are some dads that stay at home, and they probably have to deal with more crap than you do, or at least I would think.

    I think the thought of a stay-at-home mother is a good idea and if I made more than enough money to keep my family clean and fresh, then I would want my wife to be there for my children. I would want my kids spending time with moms instead of some nanny, for sure. But, if pops needs help raking in the bucks, then moms should be there to help however moms could. That’s what family does.

    Winning the lottery would sure be nice though…

  • My mother-in-law just sent my husband a birthday card. We are in our early 30′s.  I worked until my daughter was about 4 years old and then i realized all that i was missing out on by working even just part time during the day! 

    So the card read on the very last line, “now that Claire is in school, don’t you think it is time Michele went and found a job?”

    Ok, not only RUDE!  But now that my 8 year old daughter is in 3rd grade i feel like there is more “mommy” things to do than less!  We have theatre practice after school, ballet twice a week, guitar lessons, and you name it that she wants to learn or a sport to play!  I volenteer almost daily at the school and i enjoy it.  I do work out of the house making about $200-500 a month (not a lot)!  But it is making artistic work that i love to do.

    My husband works normal day time hours of 7am to at least 5pm and we would have to place our daughter into a day care before school and after school if i chose to return to work.  I do not make enough money at any job that i have (lack of degree slowing that down a bit) had in the past to cover a day care cost twice a day. 

    I’m ok with the life i have as a “stay at home” mother.  And if i ever choose to return to work, i want it because i am unhappy in my life and want to work again….not because other people have made me feel like i am worthless as a person by not working. 

    I say, be proud of being a mom!  If others choose to look at it as a think to look down upon, feel sorry for them by not understanding the pure joys of being a parent.  Which in my opinion, is being a part of your children’s life, no matter what their age :o )

  • Yes, we should all put our kids into daycare. Why raise our kids ourselves when we can let somebody else raise them for us? When my first child was born my wife quit her job (and glad to do so) to raise the kids. I changed jobs; from one which required me to work all night (then sleep all day) to one where I only work every third day, with lots of time off. We did this to raise and nurture our kids. Now that the kids are in their teens and are pretty much self-sufficient, my wife has found another job (one that she wants, not that she has to have.) My mother stayed at home and raised me, and I like to think she did a fine job. In fact, all of my friends growing up had stay-at-home moms. What other kind was there? Our next door neighbors had a stay-at-home dad, and we all thought that was weird. Why have so many people come to think of child rearing as drudgery, and something less than honorable? I say Huzzah! to mothers who raise their kids. My mother taught me everything I need to know to survive in the world, she taught me religeon, art, philosophy, work ethic, hygiene, manners, sewing, cooking, and how to build a birdhouse. What if … what if somebody being paid to work at a daycare center had been responsible for teaching me those things?

    Huzzah! to you.

    Anyway, I thought your entry was about child rearing, not really about winning the lottery.

  • most people hate work and don’t like the idea that someone else isn’t hating what they’re doing also.

  • Someone commented about the possibility of others thinking you’re a leech or putting more pressure on your husband as the breadwinner…  but what about the financial savings of being a stay-at-home mom?  You aren’t paying for daycare, you aren’t spending gas money on a commute, and you probably aren’t paying restaurants & big food companies to feed your family because you can prepare your own meals on a grocery budget.  And, chances are, as your kids grow up, you won’t have to spend money on fancy toys & gadgets to entertain them while you’re busy, because you’ve taken the time to explore the world with them & they’ll be more interested in personal creativity than externally-provided stimulation.  There are so many more postive effects of embracing the job of a Mom, and it seems many people recognize those, but I didn’t really see the financial side included, so that’s my two cents on that aspect. 

  • Someone commented about the possibility of others thinking you’re a leech or putting more pressure on your husband as the breadwinner…  but what about the financial savings of being a stay-at-home mom?  You aren’t paying for daycare, you aren’t spending gas money on a commute, and you probably aren’t paying restaurants & big food companies to feed your family because you can prepare your own meals on a grocery budget.  And, chances are, as your kids grow up, you won’t have to spend money on fancy toys & gadgets to entertain them while you’re busy, because you’ve taken the time to explore the world with them & they’ll be more interested in personal creativity than externally-provided stimulation.  There are so many more postive effects of embracing the job of a Mom, and it seems many people recognize those, but I didn’t really see the financial side included, so that’s my two cents on that aspect. 

  • Kids = responsibilities

    Lottery = (temporary) carefree life

  • Your Kids R CUTE!!!!!!!!!!my mom is a stay at home mom and i am homeschooled! congrats on the front page! moms rule!!!

  • Wow, excellent post–very thought provoking. My mom stayed home to raise me and my 6 other siblings and I give her the utmost respect for that. She also homeschooled us, which gave me the expirience of caring for children, which had me babysitting other children as soon as i was legally old enough to. My first nannying position started when I was 14, and I couldn’t see how the mother could get up and go to work everyday and leave her baby home with me…I was the one who taught him to walk, and speak, and count and such…the mother was missing all those precious moments just so she could have a job, and not be “just a homemaker”.

    great blog, Lord bless you.

    P.S. and of course not alllll mothers have the option of staying home, there are exceptions where they MUST work outside the home, I do realize that.

  • I haven’t had either conversation, but I have read people online basically scorning women who decide to be “stay-at-home” mums. Being a mother is work and it is valuable work. So all I can really say is I hope you aren’t bothered by their confusion! I think if you are happy then you are doing the right thing and people should just accept that maybe there is something in your life that is important and meaningful to you, which they don’t understand. Anyway, I’m sure your children won’t complain. My mum started studying at university when I started school, but even then it was part-time external. We probably would not have the relationship we do if she hadn’t made those choices. Of course, we were lucky in that her parents were helping out financially and sharing a roof with us.

    ~Katrina

  • Ah.. the stay at home mom argument. If I were a mom, I would love to stay at home, however, I’ve been living a certain life style for several years now, and reducing the household income by half AND having to support another person on it–well, seems really, really tough! I keep thinking, can my man really pay ALL our current bills on his income alone? Esp. since I currently take home more income than he does now… That is A LOT of pressure on him…he’d have to get a second job while I get to stay at home and watch daytime TV during the kid’s nap-time.

    See, with winning the lottery…you don’t HAVE those financial burdens and more time is used for fun.

  • No idea. I am glad I get to work part-time as a teacher: summers off and only 2 days/week during the school year. Some people think I should find something more FT and permanent, thinking that I’m wasting my education. However, I love being able to stay home with the kids while I can. :)

  • Oh, what I find amazing is how people say, “When the kids get older, then you’ll get to…” Honestly, I think it’s been more work managing my daughter’s schedule in 2nd grade than when she was a preschooler. All the homework and events.

  • lol…lovely post..Things change coz they are meant to.We have to keep moving with time :)

  • Because some people aren’t cut out to be stay at home moms like yourself.  Hopefully I’ll be able to do that for my children.

  • I always wanted to be a stay at home dad.

  • Depending on the individual’s beliefs, it’s a different “feel” if you win the lottery compared to having children. People have an idealistic view of winning the lottery, because it allows the freedom of doing whatever they want to do. They not only have the option to stay home, they can purchase things and travel. The same people who rather stay at home for money than for children, do not understand the TRUE value of life.

    Keep up the good work. Don’t listen to those “lottery-hungry” people.

  • You definately are a winner!

    There is nothing better then to be the one to mold the hearts and minds of your own children. I too am a new mom in my thirties and staying at home after years of the daily grind. Honestly, this job doesn’t have a clock to punch in or out of. It doesn’t have promotions or letters of recognition but the dividends in the end will be so much more valuble.

    Money will come and go!!!!!! PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!

    FAMILY IS FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!

    / Here’s to all the stay at home moms who are making the sacrifice! And to the moms who want to be home but can’t!

  • Bah. This is a touchy subject and people will always be on all sides of it. (The child raising aspect, rather.) Personally, I will probably never be a stay-at-home-mom. Why? Because I enjoy the sense of pride I get from earning a paycheck, I didn’t spend all that grief in college to do nothing with that degree, and frankly, my mom lived out the SAHM role for 20 years and I watched her nose-dive into financial disaster.

    Suddenly and without warning, my dad fell out of the picture and my mom was then left to try and pick up a life and a living (because no one can live off of child support and alimony forever) with no prior work experience for the last two decades. Suddenly, I (in my very ripe old age of … 21 *snort*) have more assets than she does.

    Point is: Events like that are becoming more and more common, which is where a lot of people come up with the : “Omg? You’re still not working? Why won’t you work? The kids are old enough to be put into daycare!”

    Personally, I don’t care if someone’s a stay-at-home mom or if they’re a working mother. As long as they are a mother to their children regardless, it’s all fine and dandy. It really has less to do with whether a mother works or not and has more to do with how she handles everything. For some, they can work and still raise their children to their full potential. That’s my approach, and I figure that will work for me. (Yay me!) For others, it’s more economical and self-fulfilling to be there 24/7 and it works for them. (Yay them!)

    Anyway, the next time someone says ‘just’ stay at home with the kids, pipe up and educate them that your job (and I consider being a SAHM a job because it does actually involve financial benefits if you calculate everything correctly) is equivalent to earning a $134,121 annual paycheck according to Salary.com’s ‘What is a Mom Worth?’ article. While it is an internet article, there have been other studies I’ve read on the subject that have mirrored the same findings.

    Of course, the financial aspect of it all isn’t what counts. If you’re happy with what you do, then happy-slap that message with a big ol’ “It works for me! And I love it!” mantra. And then strut your awesome mommy stuff.

    Gratz on the Featured, and sorries for the long comment. I … get chatty in the mornings.

    Michelle Marie

  • Hello,

      I agree with you.  I heard it from my brother and all my friends when I hadmy first child.  I now have 4 and a step son.  I have been a stay at home mother for all of their lives.  But everyone would tell me, your not working you just sit on your ass and such stupid things like that.  I feel and strongly believe children now days have abeeter beginning if a parent stays at home with them for at least the first 5 yrs, you know until they start school full time.  A lot of people don’t understand that being a stay at home mom, is a job, and on of the roughest at times anyone could imagine.  We work 24 7 with a pay of love and enjoyment form our children and spouses.  We run a household and if you really ge techincal we do a little of every job out there form our home. 

    I’m not saying working moms don’t work hard or don’t deserve credit for all they do, i’m just saying stay at home moms work just as hard for a different more rewarding type of pay everyday sick or not.  I never thought I would be a stay at home mom, but I love it and couldn’t imagine placing my children into a daycare. 

    Nieza

  • I think quality time with your kids is immensly important. Im 19, and i dont have any children yet… but my mother and father were divorced when i was 6 and my mom worked her ass off to support me and give me a good life. Only problem is, she was rarely home. I wasnt stuck at a daycare or babysitter like most kids, because my grandparents were kind enough to watch after me. My grandma and grandpa actually retired so they could spend alot of time with me.

    Point is.. i grew up not seeing my mother as often as i would like, and my father was never there anyways even when he did live with us. I guess i just dont want to be like that. I mean dont get me wrong if i have to work my life away for my kids, i’ll do it. But i would like to be a stay at home mom. And thankfully my boyfriend [the man i hope to marry =]] has no problem with my decision.  Plus he’s got a good job with the ohio union workers.. and in 3-4 yrs his salary will increase to 32.50 an hour.

    I think we’ll be okay. But some things dont always go as planned.

  • Personally, I am one of those women that believes we should work — or at least have the choice between a job, home, or both — but being a stay-at-home mum is something that is to be respected far more than winning the lottery and being a lazy bum.  It takes a lot more guts to mold human beings than pick a few numbers.

    By the way, “conundrum” is on my list of fun words to say.  :)

  • who says that being a “stay at home mom” is not work???  though you may not bring home a “paycheck”  you are paid in a different way that $$ can not bring.  if there were more “stay at home moms” maybe, just maybe many of lifes problems with the way kids are growing up may not happen.   so if you feel tyhe need to go back to the traditional work that most people view as what we should be doing, i feel that you will not be happy.  love your thought/view on this.  hang in there!   russ

  • Why is not working so that you can stay home with your kids viewed as being worse than not working so that you can stay home because you won the lottery?

    I don’t know why people have their morals screwed up.

    Winning the lottery and living a life of luxury is nice, but where is the challenge in that? All it teaches you is irresponsibility that plagues the rich and young like *gag* Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie.

    As a child of a family with a stay-at-home mom, I can say that my mom gave me the biggest gift. Whenever I needed her, she was there. It was great for when I broke my arms in 3rd grade.

    I’m really glad you’ve decided to be there for them even though you haven’t won the lottery. Well, in a sense you have, right?

  • cuz people are obsessed with money in this society … and money should be the only motivating factor for anything … apparently …

  • This is great! How many people world-around agree with you? Probably more than we imagine.

  • Hey im Beba and im new well not really i just opened a new page cuz i just came back from Puerto Rico and i decided to come back so if i miss spell a word you know why lol i just decided to drop by and give you props hope you do the same agt
    ~ Beba ~

  • You have the hardest job. As a person who did home child care for several years I know how difficult it is. But if for no other reason your job rocks because you don’t have to get up at 5:30 to spend over an hour driving to work or stuck in traffic.

  • you rock. parents rarely get to spend enough time with their children nowadays, and yes, there is a lot of financial pressures to provide for your children.. but time will always be priceless. go mom!

  • interesting point

  • so… the people who wonder why you ‘haven’t gone back to work’ either view staying at home as with kids an insane amount of work (which it is unless the mom is just plane lazy), or view work as an escape from the insane amount of work that staying home with the kids is. …Or possibly they prefer having a little more money to spending time raising their children. But most women I know, unless they have a really well paying job, or are blessed with cheap child care spend enough money working (for childcare, wardrobe, transportation, etc) that they’d just about break even if they stayed home with kids or if they worked instead of staying home with kids.

    my personal opinion is that, unless finances absolutely require a mom to work, it’s selfish to not spend the time at home. Why have kids if someone else is going to raise them?

  • i’d love to be a stay-at-home mom someday… :)

  • That seems very backwards to me. I think staying home with your kids is a wonderful thing. They say that parenthood is the only real full-time job. I think it’s great that you’re spending more time with your kids instead of working and trying to care for them.

  • I know what you mean. My mom stayed home with me and my brother during our entire K-12 grade years. People constantly thought little of her because she wasn’t going back to work. She’s just now considering going back to work. All I know is that I’m so thankful my mom stayed home with us.

  • to each their own… if it’s financially possibly and reasonable for there to be a stay-at-home parents, then by all means go hard… i sit here in Alberta, and as someone who is NOT involved in the oil patch, that is a virtual impossibility… well, it is possible, just not as likely… if your situation allows for that, then by all means…

    however, i see many, many families that require the dual income just to survive, and personally i wouldn’t want a single income family myself…

  • Most likely because they view staying at home to take care of the kids as more work than actually going to work. Either that, or they believe that staying home to take care of the children is falling back into the traditional view of what female mothers should do, and they’d prefer it if you were rebellious and ‘avant-garde.’ Why stay home to take care of the kids and have the father go out to work, when you can just as well switch roles?

    IMO, though, I think that what you’re doing, be it easier or harder than going to work, is probably the best thing to be doing. You don’t resent staying home with your children, which is awesome. And you’re a woman, not a man – and in my opinion that makes you just that much better at the job, not because of the typical gender roles issue thingy, but in my experience, as great as some dads can be, and as much as I believe that a child needs both a fatherly and a motherly influence as they grow…

    Mothers, in my experience, bring to the plate something that fathers struggle to.

    Some people believe that quitting work to roll around in the dough that you won from the lottery is a much greater pleasure than quitting work to take care of the kids. But the reality is that the money you’ve won from the lottery disappears like a dream if you don’t know what you’re doing with it. Children, as draining as they can sometimes be, make you much richer, and will most likely last your whole life.

    Given those facts, I’m sure it’s easy to see which one you should probably focus on. Props for choosing the right one. ;)

  • Sounds like you’re living the life you want to be living and that’s all that should matter! :)

  • I watched “crash test mom” on TV.  stay at home mom is not a easy job.  it’s both rewarding and hardwork.   keep up the good work!

  • I recently read an article that talked about a study done by salary.com. They added up all of the things a stay at home mom does, and tried to calculate what all of those services would be worth if you were paying someone else to do them. They added so many hours of maid duty, so many hours for a chef, so many hours for tutor, a driver, a phychologist, etc. etc.

    Turns out a stay at home mom is worth 138,095 in 2007!  I feel that they left out some important ideas; like the peace of mind that your children are being raised right, and taken care of well….but it’s nice figure to remind yourself or others of how much work a stay at mom really does. 

    :) Raised well by a stay at home mom.
    Brittany

  • My mom spent 17 years at college. She has a law degree and a classics degree. At the end of 17 years, I was born, and she decided to be a stay-at-home homeschool mom, giving me and my sister the best education we could possibly get. It is so refreshing to hear somone else who thinks kids like me are just as important as winning the lottery. Thanks 4 your encouraging post!

  • Human beings can be ridiculously insensitive…or just plain stupid. Oftentimes it is a combination of the two. How do I know so much about this? Ahh, I’d really rather not say…

  • Perception, I guess. To you, being at home with your kids may be like winning the lottery. To another woman, it may be punishment. I think nowadays, because there are so many options, women have babies out of social obligation then hand them off to the nanny while they go shopping all day.

    I hate when people bash childcare service, because some women really need to work. Cost of living is insane no matter where you live and single parents need extra help. However, if it were an option, I think any mother would want to be with her kids all day.

    Although, I’m confused about something: How is a man who works 80 hours a week to support his wife and 4 kids a good father and a woman who puts the kids in daycare to work part-time a few days a week (to build self-esteem and make some extra money) not living up to her maternal potential?

  • KUDOS to you!!!! i’ve been a STAHM for a couple of years now but on way back to join the “workforce”. being home with the kids is probably the hardest but the MOST GRATIFYING profession ever!!! having the chance to attend every school function & to show your kids that you are there with them. doing homework with the kids at snail pace but it’s okay because you are home. it is wonderful.

    society gauges work & success with how much one earns but … society seriously needs to get those blinders off.

    congrats on being featured & GOOD FOR YOU!!! i really wish i can stay home longer with my second one …

  • I honestly think that being a stay at home mom is the most respectful job in the world.  I applaud you!!  As I see it, for as long as you can don’t put your kids in daycare!  Stay home with them and watch them grow, because you’ll never have another chance. 

  • for some reason, a stay at home mother’s work is not considered real work to a lot of people. i don’t agree with it, but that’s the case for a lot of reaons, one of which being that our society is so driven by a “go big or go home” mentality that most working class people can’t comprehend the simplicity of working at home with your children, because it has no immediate “boom!” of a reward.

  • I dont know, but I stay home with my little one who was 2 in April and you know what, I stay home because we did WIN the lottery when we had her.

    I think some people just dont appreciate as greatly the things that matter the most… like our children. Like our families.

  • I dont know, but I stay home with my little one who was 2 in April and you know what, I stay home because we did WIN the lottery when we had her.

    I think some people just dont appreciate as greatly the things that matter the most… like our children. Like our families.

  • Hi!  I think it’s great that you stay home with your kids!  Way to be a stay-at-home mom!

  • i think being a SAHM is looked down upon b/c for so long that was basically the only thing women could do…and i think a lot of people see your choice to be a SAHM sort of as an abandonment to the entire women’s movement…know what i mean? but honestly, that’s one of the best jobs people can have, and for you to be able to stand your children’s crazy phases and antics 24/7(literally!) then all the power to you! you’re lucky that you don’t have to work so that you can stay home with your kids. i’m 15, and sometimes i think of how nice it would be if my mom was home more…instead of working ’till around 5..and how different it would be…but she’s got to work. hopefully one day your children will look back and think of how great it was to have their mom almost always home when they were.

  • Sounds to me like you DID win the lottery ;)   Have a great weekend!

  • My mom stayed at home to raise me. It’s one of the most honorable things you can do…
    “Oh, let me just send my kids off to daycare so I can work.”
    Seems like neglect to me. If you want to actually raise a child, you stay home, and raise them.

  • keep up the good work!
    Be sure to have hobbies and things to do..y’know…just so you have activities to do when your kids grow up. i’d pick photography cuz that’s a forever hobby..plus u can capture your kids and those precious moments.

  • I’m in my early twenties right now but, I had never thought about winning lottery so, I don’t have to work.  But, that’s just me.  I believe earning my own money is more rewarding. 

    Your kids are really lucky and must appreciates you for being there.  My mom work through out my childhood.  It will be nice if I got the chance to see her a little more. 

  • Stay-at-home moms are awesome.  My mom quit work and stayed home with my sister and me until I was about 13.  I feel like we really bonded during that time.

    It’s kind of like if people are saying quitting work for a lot of money is better than quitting work for kids, money is better than kids.  That’s not right.

  • I think the responsibility of raising good, well-mannered, and disciplined children is much overlooked and uncredited these days. In a time when so many people are busy satisfying their own cravings for fame, fortune, or respect, there are those unspoken few who are committed to doing the most important job of all–bringing up a generation of respectable and potentially impactful people to the world.

    Keep your head and spirits up. Kudos to you!

  • I would love to not have to work. I am not a mother, but this is the way I see it… I have to come in to work every day at a job I don’t like, and deal with a supervisor who hates me. SAHMs get to stay at home with their kids, who they love. You don’t have to deal with bad bosses or traffic. I’m not going to say that being a SAHM is easier or harder than having a “real” job, since I obviously don’t know what it’s like to be a mom. You are lucky that you are financially able to be a SAHM, because a lot of people simply can’t afford to depend on only one income, or they are raising their kids on their own. I know quite a few of my friends would love to be able to quit their jobs so they could spend their days at home with their kids, but they just cannot afford it.

    My mom was a SAHM mom, kind of. She babysat some other kids out of our house to make money. While it was nice having her home, I HATED having to share my toys, my life, & my MOM with some other kids, who I couldn’t stand.

  • I’m glad to be a SAHM (9.5 years) and I wouldn’t trade it for all the money I could have brought home during those years or for the lottery. Money comes and money goes, these memories will last FOREVER. Don’t worry about the people who look down on you, they don’t know what they are missing. ;o) ((btw, that is a cute profile pic!))

  • and we never think about what if we were born with crippled legs or some kind of disabilities? life is good for us. we should cherish our lives but then it’s never wrong to dream big :)

  • yea I dont get that either….I think staying at home and taking care of kids are great…if some people hates doing that, doesnt mean the whole world does..haha. you should ask them “what’s wrong with that?!, why dont you take a vacation?!”

    hahaaha..

  • staying at home mom is saving lots of money for the family by being a “driver”, “chef”, “nanny”, “housekeeper”, “babysitter”, “counceller”, “Tutor”, and many more.  :)  

  • The kinds of people who look down on stay-at-home moms usually don’t consider it laziness. Before the women’s movement, the woman’s “job” was basically to raise the children and work in the house. They weren’t expected to earn income at all. Then, suddenly, they were “free” from their social duty, so to speak, and it was either patriotic (40s) or somehow equalizing (60s and beyond) for a woman to work just like a man. So, long story short, people would look down on you because you were giving up your rights (yeah right) and letting the man take over. At least, that’s what they’d think…

    Personally, I think BOTH parents should be active in raising the children. So I congratulate you for your “sacrifice.” So you don’t have a job. You still, you know, matter.

  • I think it’s very important for kids to have a parent at home with them, if you can afford it. It’s a shame that stay-at-home-parents are looked down upon in today’s society. Work (or make that money) is an addiction in today’s society. 9-5 has become 9-6 and it seems like overtime is a given at almost any job. Raising children is a very noble job (and you definitely put in lots of overtime), but everyone has money on their minds, so they think that if you’re not making money, you’re not “working” and you must be bored out of your mind.

  • …isn’t having kids and the option to stay at home for them…isn’t that winning the lottery?

  • yeah it’s funny that people can only see the economic value of a “job” when they see the paycheck, but they don’t know how to appreciate a person working their ass off if it’s paid in other forms.

    I think it’s so good in the West that people often aware the issue and bring up to discussion. But here in the East (I’m from Hong Kong btw and we are supposed to be quite westernized), most of the people don’t even aware this is a problem that worth discussing, let alone resolving. I think the major reason lies on the fact that the women here don’t even know how to appreciate their role in a family, they truly think they are inferior than their husband. This just make me sick.

  • hi there! greeting from va.
    as long as your husband’s ok and your household financial’re in order, don’t pay slightest attention to what everyone else says. your kids are the most important persons in your life (welp, next to your hubby that is) so take care of them, love them, embrace them, and spank them (in love)!

    ‘Lord, please bless these children in health, in mind, and in spirit, in your son’s name, amen…’

  • i think it’s ridiculous that people feel the need to question your choice. i also hate it when people don’t realise how much work a stay at home mum has to do – it’s a 24/7 job!

    although i don’t have a maternal bone in my body, i can see where you’re coming from! ignore those people and keep your chin up :)

    good luck!

  • I think that being a stay at home mom is the hardest and most well paying job ever. You dont get cash, but you do get tons of love, and that is the best paycheck! My mom was a stay at home mom and she tought me everything that I needed to know before school, so her bonus was a good report card. You dont have to get a check to be well payed.

  • I think for a woman you can’t really win either way. Motherhood just isn’t valued/embraced by society as productive work… I don’t think that people realize how much goes into it. Women who have a career and children are often caught up trying to balance the two (plus housework), and experience a certain amount of shame for not being there fully for their children. Yet, when that same woman stays at home with the kids, because she’s not bringing in an income, it lends others to feel that her role is less valuable or fosters a misconception that she’s just sitting idly enjoying soap operas all day. I think your friends probably resent being in jobs that they may not be fully happy with, so they displace their dissatisfaction upon you with judgments like that.

  • Well I don’t think your friends’ questions are meant to demeaning to your current status, they just have little or no understanding the difficult, sometimes frustrating, always tiring, always-on-call mega-job that is the mother.

    I am not a parent but looking back at the hours my mom put in to raise my brother and I, waking at 7am and sleeping at midnight for 21 years O.o, gave me a good idea what it’s like to raise children and my brother and I were fairly well-behaved.

    I wish raising kids is like a job but kids don’t just disappear between 5pm - 9am and over the weekend, holidays and when you are sick =P.  

  • Choosing to stay at home with your kids ISN’T worse than staying at home because you’re insanely wealthy. It’s just more noble and out of the ordinary. And because it’s more noble and out of the ordinary, it’s harder for people to wrap their brains around. Nobility went out the window decades ago and it’ll take people like you – people who put their families ahead of financial gain when they have that option – to bring it back into vogue. Keep up the good work and maybe our society will one day admire noble actions again. 

  • well kudos for keeping your kids home with you. i worked in a daycare for 6 months (quit cause i’m leaving for school this month) and trust me it is NOT a good place for kids. especially the smallest ones who can’t talk yet and the babies who are 6 weeks old… it’s so sad. and the older ones just get yelled at all day and forced to do stupid activeties they don’t want to do and they don’t get to play outside much or have a childhood really… it’s so sad to me. i think that when you have kids unless your situation makes it impossible, you should stay home and be a parent. i wish i could tell a lot of the parents who’s kids i tried to love for them, pass up the lexus and give your child emotional stability. that’s a job you shouldn’t pass up if you can help it.

    you have very lucky kids because you are staying home with them!!!

  • Staying at home with your kids is winning the lottery!  Geeze!  Your kids will feel richer for it & I’m sure you already do!

  • I admire stay at home moms. Hardest job ever. I thank God for giving me a mom who was able to stay at home and raise my siblings and myself.

    Thanks for all your hardwork, I’m sure your kids will appreciate it down the line.

  • I totally agree with you. I’m 18 and would love nothing more than to be a stay-at-home-mom when I decide to start my own family. I give you props for putting all your efforts into one of the most important jobs, raising your children.

  • being a stay-at-home mom is definitely a job in itself, and you aren’t even able to pay into social security!

    you have little ones, too, so i don’t think anyone has any room to talk.  it seems important to be with children in their younger years.  sending them off to daycare will often result in a loss for them.  most daycares plaster children to the television, feed them junk, and teach very little about their surrounding world, which is unfortunate:( by sacrificing your time and a few other luxuries, you are bettering your children and their futures:)

    plus, hugs and kisses seem like wonderful tips:)

    I am 20 right now, and I am seriously not a grown adult, lol.  If i were to win the lotto, I would probably pay for my sibs college then lock the rest away until I was a little older.  Otherwise, I fear my stupid-now-self would blow it on “toys,” lol.

  • your kids will grow up much better than if you were to ship them off to daycare asap. You deserve to do what you want. Staying at home as a mom is not an easy job – it’s a fact. In my opinion, you are actually above those who just get their kids nannies while they work work work because you are stepping up to the plate and taking parenting seriously. Sure, income is important, but so is bonding with your children. So is making sure they learn to value more than just money. Parents who work all the time spoil their kids rotten to make up for time not spent together and, in turn, creates greedy kids expecting the world.

  • wow. good question!

  • I was fortunate to stay home with my kids for 12 years then I went back to work when they were in school.  But in my area, staying at home was cool and the right thing to do. 

    I am in my 40′s now and loving life …. I would rather have my health than money any day!!! 

  • Anybody who says things like that has clearly not spent more than ten consecutive minutes at home with kids.  It’s hard work.

  • Stay at home. I agree.

  • I have a friend who planned to be a stay at home mum (I’m Aussie =) we say ‘mum’) since her early twenties because she didn’t want a stranger raising her kids. So it really depends on your values.

    I remember an ad on tv about all the different roles that a mother must perform: cab driver, chef, cleaner, diplomat, tutor, etc. Being a stay at home mum really is the ultimate in full time jobs and gives you rewards that money can’t buy.

    Unfortunately it is financially difficult to support a family on one income in this day and age. I’m building up my assets (property) now when I’m in my twenties so that I can have a choice later on.

    Even winning the lottery will not support you financially for the rest of your life, and you’re more likely to be viewed as lazy and irresponsible, in my opinion.

  • I think it’s very honourable that you are a stay at home mom, I think that job pays off more than one would with a paycheck, to be honest. It give you alot of time to spend with your children. Really, if being a stay at home mom makes you happier than a job, there is nothing wrong with it at all. I’d have to say, that I admire stay at home moms, they’re my role models. =D

    Be happy.

  • It might be because they are jealous. Deep down, they probably wish they could watch their kids grow up, too. The truth is, in my opinion, stay-at-home moms have the most important job in the whole world. Without them, children have less guidance growing up. With them, we all have a solid set of values to live by, etc.

    My mother, who has raised us three boys, stayed at home until the youngest began high school and money got tight. Then, the best way for her to contribute to our family seemed to be working. Also, I think, many mothers may long for a change after years of raising children. Of course, if you work long enough at anything, it’s perfectly normal to want a change.

    As long as you’re doing what you’re comfortable and happy doing, it’s not worth the slightest stress wondering why some would stay home with a million dollars, but not with one or two or more little smiling faces!

    Good topic!

  • I don’t know. Probably something to do with an impossible dream projected to us by our culture’s screwed up priorities.
    But whatever the case, please don’t let your friends get to you. As I look back at my childhood one thing really stands out to me: My mother never worked outside the home until accepting a part time job this last year, and I am so greatful to her for that. The presence you provide being in the home and taking care of your children 24/ 7 is absolutely priceless. You are irreplaceable in your children’s lives, and if they know that you are behind them in everything they do, they will have a far more stable place in this world than many of their peers who spent half their lives in a daycare so that their mothers could work.
    Again, kudos to you, and don’t let your friends convince you to change. Congratulations for being a mother to your children.

  • Good for you! As many other people have said…why isnt being a stay-at-home-mom considered a “job”? After all… you are raising the next generation–teaching morals, responsibility…. that’s a huge undertaking!!

    And they thought the business world was rough.

    God bless!

  • Hi, Just wanted to say your doing the most important job there is. I stayed home with my 4 kids and I had to do without a few things over the years but it was well worth it. Keep on doing what your doing!!! Blessings, Kim

  • i’m not a mum but would consider it not only a joy, but also ideal, to be a stay at home mum. unfortunately i so know what you mean about the pressure to work… it’s feels like it’s ingrained in our culture. so many ppl don’t realise what a big ongoing committment it is to be a stay-at-home mum! tho i’ve heard the hard work is all worth it for the rewards.

  • because people are stupid.

    and they dont understand how important it is for kids to know their parents better than some “Mary-Sue” at daycare. 

  • Can I just say, what you are doing is great. My mom was a stay at home mom (still is, but we kids are grown.) I loved that. I loved having her at home for me when school was over. She worked so hard as a mom and still does. I think that people who say what those people say to you, don’t know how hard you actually work at what you’re doing. And they have a warped idea of what makes one fulfilled and accomplished.

    My best friend didn’t work after she got married, even before her daughter was born. Her husband’s coworkers’ wives would look at her strangely and ask what she did all day. Well, she cleaned, planned menus, cooked, shopped, ironed, volunteered… etc. There was plenty to do! And she could do it well and have time to enjoy her husband, not be frazzled trying to be married and work and maintain a household.

    Personally, I feel annoyed with people who are rich and never have to work – I don’t think that would build character or be very interesting.

    Don’t get me wrong… some parents have to both work to support the family, and I understand that. I’m sure they do the best they can to have balance. But it’s the my-career-is-my-life people who can’t understand the pleasures and hard work of being “just” a mom who bug me.

  • I have learned since I had my daughter 6 months ago that being a stay at home job is one of the hardest jobs ever. It’s also the most fulfilling. You have one of the most valuable jobs on the planet. Don’t ever forget that. You are molding and shaping those little lives in an incredible way. Unfortunately, our world has a twisted view on many things. It often places worth on things that have no eternal value whatsoever, while overlooking or devaluing the things that truly matter. You are doing a great thing.

  • Propz. Well written

  • Stay home.  I don’t blame you.  You’re not missing anything.  If you work, you’ll be missing a big portion of your children’s childhood and developement.  I would do the same thing.

  • Amen to you!   You’ve got such great insight and perspective.  You’re living the dream.

  • Interesting post… I don’t see one should stop working even if they did win the lottery. You don’t just work to make money, but you work to make a difference. Would you stop being a mom if you won the lottery? I dont think so.

    …sadly however, we are in a very materialistic world.

  • Being a stay at home Mom IS a job. My mom was a stay at home mom and it was every bit as tough or tougher than having a regular job. One of the main reasons is it’s 24/7… not 9-5.

    You are an amazing woman for taking a stand and raising your kids!! :)

    Beca

  • I agree with everyone else…you do have a job, and a very important one! I had 2 months off for maternity leave and then had to go back to work….I cried when that day came. I wish I could be in your shoes!

  • When you work your forward your own goals and career. Mothers who stay at home to watch kids aren’t seen as getting anything from it. It is assumed that everyone wants some measure of success in their careers, and that is compromied when you leave work to watch the children. When you left, you probably thought somewhere in your mind that you’d go back, that it wouldn’t be a permanent fix, and that’s probably what others assumed also.

  • i applaud you as a stay-at-home mom! people don’t realize the importance of raising your own children as much as finacially possible. my mother gave up a lottt of comforts to stay at home with me until i got to kindergarden. it was hard, harder than a lot of people think it is, because of working around the whole money issue. i believe it’s important to still have a life, and your own ambitions and things for when your kids do get to school.. but honestly, my mom stayed home with me until after my first half of kindergarden, and we’re still soo, sooo close with each other. i think the fact that she took the time to actually raise me, and bond with me while i was young really helped.

  • Maybe they’re jealous? Don’t worry about them. My mom stayed home with my brother and I, and my fiance’s mom stayed home with both him and his brother…there’s nothing wrong with it. In fact, I think it’s the ideal way to go if you can swing it. Once my fiance and I have kids, we’re hoping I’ll be able to stay home with them, too. But long story short, don’t let other people get you down. I think you’re making a very honorable choice in devoting your life to your kids. I know I’m glad my mom chose to do so, and your kids will be equally grateful.

  • I know my mom would envy your lifestyle, as would many other parents. I think if you are getting any negative respone, those people are just jealous.

  • It may be more that with women taking jobs as opposed to staying at home (a fairly recent development), there’s a subconscious (or conscious) view that if you’re a woman who’s not out there working, you’re in some way preventing women’s equality. Although that’s a bit of a stretch.
    There are also those who don’t understand why anyone would want to stay at home with messy, screaming kids when you could just pay someone else to do it.
    But I’m assuming that you quit work to stay home with the kids. If so, then it is only natural to assume that you’ll return to work eventually.
    The way I see it, you are working – probably. I know some moms who don’t exactly raise their children, but I assume/hope you aren’t one of them – and you have the toughest job of all.
    Good luck and try your best. That’s really all you can do. *shrug* People will talk/criticize/whatever regardless of what you do/don’t do.

  • isnt seeing your own kids the joy of having them? to raise them? love them with great amount that you cant measure?

    well, i think people are just too involved with work and getting rich now.

  • =)
    i wanna be a stay at home mom tooo =)
    i think its important for the kids =D my mom was a stay at home mom, still is =D
    and it means loads to meeee =D

  • i wish my mom was a stay home mom, often times i would be left behind if my mom is too busy at work

  • i agree

  • Being a mum is not only a kind of work but much mcuh more. Great responsibilty and Love input. I’m gald to have my mum around even now I’m 20. My mum is a full time stay- home mum, and she just did an amazing job to raise 3 children. I think it is really good to have mum around especially when you are a kid, so many questions are needed a ‘truely good for you’ person to answer. So keep up the good work, support you.

  • It’s great that you’re able to be at home with your kids and not have to worry about work. Taking care of your children is important. Winning the lottery versus staying at home is worse just because there is only the monetary reward. = Money isn’t everything.

  • “Why is not working so that you can stay home with your kids viewed as being worse than not working so that you can stay home because you won the lottery?”

    Quite thought-provoking as a rhetorical question. I’m not going to attempt to give an answer, because I think the question itself gets the point across very well.

  • I’m 16 and I think stay home mums are the best (:

  • when you think about it, you kind of did win the lottery a few times over.  conception is insane.  you made life.  i think that’s much more amazing than picking a few numbers.

  • It’s because most people fail to realize that staying home and actually raising your kids IS working. I’m not a mom, but I always give props to stay at home moms, and believe me, your children will recognize that and remember it when they grow up.

  • I never understood why other people are so concerned about what we do. My wife is a nurse but decided enough was enough. Our four kids were more important. Even my co-works stuck their noses into our bussiness. Like I didn’t wear the pants in my family and make my wife work. So sick of people who only care about their toys and money looking at us like we are stupid idiots for not spending every hour of every day paying for a better house, car, vacations, ect.

    Family is all that really matters in life. Besides I make enough to more than take care of everything. So why sacrifice your kids on the alter of the American Dream?

  • so right… I guess its just hard for people to see that people have different priorities, right?

  • Anyone who thinks a SAHM isn’t working, is crazy.  The only difference is the monetary paycheck. 

  • Hey, there mom_da_bomb….I got my own family which i’d got a mother and a father and a younger brother ,i’m not even married yet to my own boyfriend though so it is not that easy to be a mother when you had to have sex with your own boyfriend and then all of the sudden your stomach started to get really fat and I’d know that my skin doctor said to me that I cannot get pregnant that easy because my skin doctor thinks that will not going to happen to me either so I had to loose the fatness from my stomach though and make it get small and be normal again and of course I’m still on a diet though and I don’t want to be ending up looking like my cousin though either! well my parents took good care of me very good but I think that I’d rather take care of myself from now on and my parents respect me very good also all I have to do is loose some fatness by stop eating junk food and nasty food and  nasty drink like those nasty Artichoke liquid water stuff that I tasted it realli not a good flavor though too! yuck!!! I hate those stuff !!! 

  • It’s great that you can afford to stay at home to raise your kids. Parenting is an unrecognized and thankless role that isn’t considered ‘work’ because you don’t get paid to do it, but it is the most important job in the world. Who cares what anyone says about not having a ‘real’ job. I work full time – I have to, I’m a single mom -and would admittedly go nuts if I stayed home all day every day for five years, though I did stay home full time the first 1.5 years of my child’s life. The sacrifices you make now are setting a strong foundation for your children’s lives, and they have you to thank.

  • I could not agree more with you.  :)   I just had a baby girl in February and am a SAHM at least until she is in kindergarten.  I have never worked so hard in my life, but never before have the rewards been sweeter, nor have the stakes ever been so high either.  I firmly believe that to raise a child takes time and energy: the more you put in, the more you get out in the long run.  Kudos to you!!

  • You’re so right. I couldn’t have said that better. Staying home and raising your kids is a noble job that should never be undervalued. If anyone thinks it’s okay to stay home after winning lottery and not to raise your children, it’s obvious they’re narrow-minded. People should have more sense and more responsibility than that. It’s just something the society got used to doing; undervaluing great women whatever they did, wherever they go.

  • I was home with my girls for the first fifteen yrs and then worked nights so i would be home during the day…i loved being with them,dont let anyone discourage you. i dont know anyone who would rather be raised by a stranger. Your doing the best thing for your kids,they will thank you when they grow up,-) My daughter stays home with her kids and i think its great…i have one grand daughter 2 and one on the way…the example you set will be with them for a life time,enjoy your kids its such a short sweet time,chow

  • I think its great! I stayed home with my girls for the first fifteen yrs and i loved it! we did so much together, we had lots of animals,home schooled for 4 yrs. I dont know anyone who would rather be raised by a stranger. My oldest is a stay at hm mom 2 and im so glad..life is so short to miss out on one of the sweetest times of your life. I always say you can have it all just not at the same time. enjoy your kids, dont let anyone discourage you for the most important job of you life,-)chow

  • I was home with my girls for the first fifteen yrs and then worked nights so i would be home during the day…i loved being with them,dont let anyone discourage you. i dont know anyone who would rather be raised by a stranger. Your doing the best thing for your kids,they will thank you when they grow up,-) My daughter stays home with her kids and i think its great…i have one grand daughter 2 and one on the way…the example you set will be with them for a life time,enjoy your kids its such a short sweet time,chow

  • Being a stay at home mom comes with a lot of responsibilities, thus making it a job. Forget what the others say; it’s you doing greater good by refusing to put your kids into a day care, while other parents do and miss out on their children’s lives.
    Keep up the great work!

  • This is a great, great topic. I am only 17, but more than anything in the whole world I want to be a mom someday. You, “mom_da_bomb14″ might not have a million dollars from the lottery, but you have something far, far better, and that is the gift of children and family. To me, you are a VERY rich person.

  • maybe they expect you to help bring in money because you’re not rich. i completely agree with what you are doing. stay-at-home mom’s have a full time job, they just don’t leave home everyday to do that job.

  • I aspire to be what you are and I commend you for being a stay at home mom! I think being at home with the kids is more difficult as well as more rewarding than working. My friends ask me the same thing about my desire to be an at home mom, and I wonder why it’s frowned upon, personally, it’s my dream job. When I have children of my own I hope to do the same… Great post!!

  • i give you credit. i wish my mom stayed at home and had more time to be with me and my 4 other siblings…when i grow up i want to be a stay at home mom too. I think its so important for a mother to always be there for her children. keep up the good work

  • god bless poeple who give there life ot save

  • I’ve never been happier in my life as a homemaker. Such a clear purpose in being a wife and mother. I appreciate the fact my husband is supportive of me. He actually thanks me for having the desire to stay home to raise our daughter. I figure I can always save up for retirement later. My husband and daughter comes first. Children are such a blessing from above. Miracles.

  • Hi …I am not a Mom and am 40….but woul so much love to stay at home.. What’s so wrong with that???I’ll never know..American society is so screwed up with working ourselves to the grave. I was layed off from a job for 7 months…and discovered a whole new world and grew to love being at home…and making my own schedule up. Work, work, work…is that all we’re good for, is that our only purpose??I don’t think so.

    Go ahead..be a stay at home Mom…My little bother, and only sibling died suddenly at the age of 21…and I am so hglad, as is my Mom that she was always a stay at home Mom. Enjoy your children while they’re young..
    Life is too short…and we never know how long we’re her for. : )

  • You know … being a stay at home mom is a job itself. Isn’t it? But, it must be nice being able to see your kids everyday, as opposed to those that spend all day working and not seeing their kids much and what not. I applaud you. :] I wish my mom were a stay at home mom sometimes …

  • Being a stay-at-home mom may not work for your friends, but if it’s what you want to do, then they should support that. You have made a career decision, and this is it. :o )

  • I think alot of it has to do with today’s ultra-feminism, and the idea that a mother who stays at home with her kids is anti-feminist and not liberated.

  • I guess it also depends on your friends’ views of staying home to raise your children.

    I was going to say more, but I couldn’t phrase it to where it would make sense. ._.;;

  • love this

  • It’s an interesting paradox how we as humans need to feel productive, yet we hate work.  You get to stay home and do the best work of all, raising up little people who hopefully won’t hate work.  Keep up the good work.

  • There’s always gives and takes in life. Lots of people, even some parents, mistake staying home to care for children as the ultra sacrifice. If one feels that way he/she probably shouldn’t do it because resentment will follow for sure- then no one gains anything, not even the children. They don’t want to be viewed as the obstacle for their parents’ success/fulfillment. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that there’s no sacrifices involved, but the fulfillment that rises from it should outweight the bads. It’s not just about the children or the caregiver only. It ought to work out for everyone.

    No one is in the position to pass judgment on those who choose to care for their children personally or those who choose to provide for their children thru other means. There’s no single formula to live.

    I think you ‘re one lucky mom! We outsiders may make foolish comments because we don’t really know what we’re talking about sometimes. Keep up your good work!

  • There’s always gives and takes in life. Lots of people, even some parents, mistake staying home to care for children as the ultra sacrifice. If one feels that way he/she probably shouldn’t do it because resentment will follow for sure- then no one gains anything, not even the children. They don’t want to be viewed as the obstacle for their parents’ success/fulfillment. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that there’s no sacrifices involved, but the fulfillment that rises from it should outweight the bads. It’s not just about the children or the caregiver only. It ought to work out for everyone.

    No one is in the position to pass judgment on those who choose to care for their children personally or those who choose to provide for their children thru other means. There’s no single formula to live.

    I think you ‘re one lucky mom! We outsiders may make foolish comments because we don’t really know what we’re talking about sometimes. Keep up your good work!

  • it’s not worse. it’s just that people figure since you DIDN’T win the lottery, you should be working hard to earn some money. i don’t know what the trade off is tho. if earing and paying for a babysitter is better than not earning and doing things yourself.

  • I’m pretty much more responsible in what I’d do with the money (or just clueless!).  I’m 20 years old and I know that if I somehow won a $6.2 billion dollar lottery (throwing numbers out there) that I would just use that money to help my parents pay off the debt, pay off college and my brother’s and friend’s colleges….save only $500,000 for myself and give the rest to people in homeless shelters so that they can have enough to move into an apartment, have plenty to eat, and enough time to get themselves together to go out job-hunting. =o)

  • Hats off to you for staying at home with your kiddos – it is one of the best things you can do for them.  Yes, you may not have as much, or do as many vacations as your working mom counterparts, but life is much more than things or vacations!  Blessings to you and your family.

  • You know….being a stay at home mom is a job in itself. Kudos.

  • he mom how are you doing Im also a mom of three angels youre kids is so adoreble wel Im knew and I whant you to be my friend the firts on my list and I can be youre friend to well see ya ok by by.
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  • Your job is a 24 hr job so wouldn’t it be nice to be a stay at home mom AND win the lottery?! Keep on keeping on and God bless you!!

  • I wrote an entry in response to this,
    and it may come off as sort of bitchy,
    but that’s not how I meant it.
    Read it to the end if you decide to read it!

    http://www.xanga.com/thisiswhereItellyoueverything/609537804/item.html

  • I want to be a stay-at-home mom ‘when I grow up.’ Kudos to you, and I hope you know that there are many of us who admire you and are glad your children have such an excellent mother. :)

  • I sometimes wish I could stay at home with my 18 mo-old and my soon to be born baby, but as a teacher, I think I have the one job that allows me to balance family and work a little better. Keep up the good work and don’t let others make you feel bad for choosing whatever is best for your family.

  • I sometimes wish I could stay home with my kids. Other times I think the work helps to balance me out. Either way, don’t let others dictate to you how to live your life. God bless…

  • You ll have plenty of years to work once the kids get older, the only problem with NOT working is that you lose your skills and the employer wont hire you if u have been out of work a long time, stay home, but keep up on the skills and good for u !!

  • Good for you!!! You would think by now everyone would be respectful of each others choice of parenting styles.  I stayed home for several years with my kids and then worked only 4 hours a week, then 8, and now, even with my kids one in high school and one starting college, I still only work 20 hours a week.  If you can do it, do it!

  • My mom stayed at home with my brother and me, homeschooled us, and made all the meals from scratch.  I am so grateful to her.  If it’s God’s will for me to get married some day, I intend to do the same thing.  So, keep up the good work.  My mom certainly doesn’t regret it, and I doubt that you will.

  • My Mom stayed at home with us, too…and I loved that security. Hang in there.

  • GReat thought. I appreciate that! I think staying at home to raise kids is one of the best decisions that mothers can make today. Kids need better raising.
    I applaud you. You may have already won the ‘lottery’.
    ~ET

  • a lot of moms go back to work after their children reach a certain age…. i think we’re a more career driven society than we are a family oriented one.

  • hey, way to go for staying home with your kids and not putting them in daycare. i really admire you and i’m very proud of you. i hear of so many parents who have kids and then put them in daycare so they can go back to work and i want to ask the question, “why have kids if you are going to let someone else raise them?” keep up the good work.

  • Not working, and choosing to forgo money – to stay home with your kids is irrational!

    Not working, because you have plenty of money – to stay home with your kids is lucky!

    Irrational is worse than lucky!

    I hope you can be ‘irrationally’ home with the kids during the next 15 to 20 years! The blessings will be immeasurably greater than income from a job.

  • Don’t let them get you down! They took the easy way out! It is easier to leave your children to others’ care and have the extra money, what it buys, and child-free time away from children. Most working mothers will tell you they went to work to avoid having to deal with children 24-7. How sad. If they only knew that their children will be learning whatever the other children at daycare pass on to them…whatever the cargiver passes on to them. It won’t necessarily be what YOU would wish them to learn. You are doing it right. It WILL pay off. I have been a stay-at-home mother….and a working mother (by necessity). I am an educator and I wish ALL mothers could see what I see…(the distinct difference in groups of children by where they end up after school). I don’t think ANY teacher would choose daycare when they see who ends up there. You’re doing it right and don’t let any woman’s sour grapes convince you otherwise. It WILL pay off!!

  • frankly, I think they’re jealous. Those questioning how you can be SAHM.

  • I am rather young to be putting in my two cents worth, about fifteen and a half to be precise, put I think the kid’s point of view should be explored as well. There is not a single day that goes by when I do not take a few minutes to contemplate what my mother could have done, what she could have been, if she had not spent the last twenty years of her life at home raising me and my siblings. There is not a single time that i look at one of her photos from when she was in her 20′s and realize that we litterally drained the youth from her. She and my father are happily married, and she loves us so much, and no, I don’t feel guilty for my birth, because it’s what she wanted. She came from a big family, and she wanted one when she married my father, that much was apparent. But..this sounds horrible, and I’m sorry in advance…it was wasted talent. She has this amazing quality about her, she can move mountains if she wants to…she has a way of getting things done, lineing things up and knocking them down cleanly and quickly. She had potential that she didn’t even realize she had. I see it all in her, in how she deals with people. She could have studdied law, she could have become president by now, she could have done millions of huge, wonderful things for this world…but she didn’t. She stayed at home with me. As soon as she got me into kindergarden, she went back for a degree in neonatal nursing (the stress that this caused my family forced me to grow up very quickly…a teacher of mine once told me that i was nintey before i turned nine) and now she works perdam on the maternity ward. 

    So, i guess her biggest contribution to this world is the thousands of babies she’s dilivered and…me. Even if my older brothers and sisters haven’t realized the incredible sacrifice she has made for us, I do. I have known for the past ten years, and I not intend to shuffle my feet and apologize. Actions speak louder than words, so I will go out and do all those things that she could have, I will go all the places that she could have gone. I will make good money doing a job that I am good at (and, hopefully, that i will enjoy) and I will save up enough money to buy my parents a sturdy, low-matenance house in the nicer part of Pittsburg where they grew up back in the seventies. The first chance I get, I will send them off on a trip to Rome like the one they took when I was a year old, and this time they will not have to worry about me getting colic because of my clutzy aunt bottlefeeding me incorrectly. And I do not care if I have to hire the entire Red Cross, my parents will NEVER end their days in a dank, smelly nursing home like my grandmother did.

    Because she and my father sacrificed everything for me, because they loved me and still do to this day, I will do the same for them.

    I will do it all for them.

  • It is great that you can stay home with your kids because it’s look like you won the lottery, lol.

  • Interesting topic…I’m gonna step up on my soapbox for a few minutes here if you don’t mind. I strongly believe that today’s youth are not growing up to be productive adults because the definition of “Parenting” and “Family” is being redefined. In my experiences in life I have come to realize that the repeat juvenile delinquents tend to come from families where mom and dad or both just are not spending that required time with the kids. Usually its because mom and dad are too occupied with their careers or they just don’t want to be part of the family and leave the household. On the other hand…the direction that the world is heading who can afford to live comfortably on one income? No matter how you choose to look at it I think that stay at home moms and dads have the most crucial responsibilities. Their “job”, in part, is to assure the positive future of our society and the direction of America. Judging by today’s society…a lot of someones dropped the ball some where along the line.

  • staying home with your kids is great. Absolutely fabulous. It may be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t think you’re responsible enough to have children if you’re just going to give them to someone else to raise all day while you do something else with your life.

    and you ARE working. Somebody’s got to watch the kids… if you weren’t watching them yourself, you’d be paying someone else too. Nannies are considered to have real jobs, why aren’t moms? :) Keep being amazing.

  • i think if you can afford to stay at home, and your partner is completely supporting you on that…DO IT!..

    i understand that sometimes kids can drive you up the wall so i really praise you for being able to doing all that!

  • That is a good question, but the truth is that people just don’t get what’s important any more.

    Staying at home to be with your kids (which is deffinently hard work) is a very noble thing to do, whereas not working just makes people useless to themselves and to society.

    Keep in mind that in today’s America, Lindsey Lohan gets more time on the news than the war in Iraq.

  • I think being a (good) mom is probably one of the hardest jobs in the world. It’s just easier for people think that being a SAHM is not enough, because it’s just possible now to work and be a mother at the same time. Personally, when I have children, I would never put them in daycares to work if I didn’t have to. Everyone’s perception of happiness is distorted to the point where money’s everything… Anyone can look after a child, but not everyone can raise them well. No one is ever “just” a mother. It takes courage to quit working for paychecks that pay for nice cars and trade them in for vans filled with the screams of a two-year-old child.

  • Also… Because the perception of happiness is distorted… They know being at home with your children makes you happy, so it’s not “work.” You see? Because no one likes their jobs anymore… SAHM’s probably do. So it probably doesn’t seem like work. But, oh, I gave my mom hell than any other boss could have, haha.

  • I don’t know why it is that way, but we are in the same boat.  A friend of my husband thinks that because I stay home with the kids all day I am leeching off of my husband, it drives us both crazy.  But all that matters is that I am happy and my husband is supportive of my staying home.  The rest of the world shouldn’t matter…

  • Raising children right is the most honorable thing to do.

  • Hello Ms. Darcy,
    You worked hard to make your site simple yet elegant. The pictures are a nice touch. I see that you have a wide variety of observations here!
    I like to write articles about God and religion on my site to help people to really get to know God, especially in these troubled times. 14 When the good news about the kingdom has been preached all over the world and told to all nations, the end will come. (Matthew 24:14) (CEV) I hope you get a chance to look at them.

  • Time for my two-cents.

    I’m active duty in the Air Force, as is my husband.  We have a five-month old daughter who’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me (this coming from the woman who used to think babies were “creepy”).  My husband is currently overseas right now, so I’m playing Single Mom for a bit.  As a result of my work schedule, my daughter ends up spending a good part of the day with a family friend.

    Do I wish I could stay home and take care of her?  Absolutely.  But I made a commitment to the Air Force and frankly, I’m proud of what I do.  We also wouldn’t be able to support ourselves on only my husband’s income, so I keep working to make sure my daughter can have everything she needs.

    Someday, I will be able to stay at home and take care of the kids.  But that time is still a long way off.  On that note, I’m happy and a little jealous that you can stay at home with your kids.  I guess I’ll just have to keep waiting for my chance.

  • Your a geat mom ever, if i won a lottery i will visit you and to give something for you as a price winner mom, i love it what you have doned. And may Allah guide you in this life and in the here after amen.

  • first off, i have to say i’m extrodinarily impressed by your question. it’s a question most parents don’t want to ask themselves, mainly becasue it questions their dedication to their children. i agree with Gentle_Shephed who commented previously about your blog, saying that most parents don’t want the responsibility.

    congratulations on being such a great mom!

                                                                              love,

    Abby

  • I’ve already posted, but there is something else I need to add to this.  See we live next door to 3 chidlren ages 4,6,9.  Their mom dosent have custody of them so they live with their grandmother who has to work to support them, and their mother just had another child and just got out of jail again.

    I have a degree in child daycare management, and I was raised  by a somtimes staya t home mom.  When I was about 15 she went to work and workedon and off for extra money sumetimes.  Being form that back ground and seeing the kids next door and having the education to study children and understand where they should be by their age, I can see a very large difference in the chidlren with the working grandmother next door compared to mine in which i stay at home to care for.  My children are well behaved, well mannered and very smart, working above the expected level for their age.  Were the children next door all seem to be below age level and very misbehaved.  I feel really bad for the children next door that they are the way they are,  and it really does show thet chidlren are a prodcut of how they are raised.

    I know mothers who work as well with very smart children, but it was daycares that provided them all the things they needed, and it saddens me to see chidlren who are suppose to be loved by their parents, but their parents are too busy working for that mighty dollar that they don’t see the neglect they are doing to their own chidlren.  Then they make up the neglect with material things and you end up with spoiled braty chidlren.  Not all working parents work this way, but alot now days do and it is a form of neglect.  I strongly believe that if someone is going to have chidlren then they need to put their time into raising their chidlren.  otherwise don’thave them.  I do plan on going to work and I have used my free time taking care of my chidlren to get a education so when my youngest starts school I can go to work, but even then I will only be working during school hours so i can make sure I will be home when they are to take care of them, becuase they are my top job and always will be.

    Anyways now days you can put all your expereince of being a stay at home mom on your resumes.  And stay at home mothers do so much that they have skills in so many areas that they can hold down a job and excel it at faster sometime then those with an college education.  Stay at home moms may be considered the underdogs inteh work force, but we can handle so much more than most people.

  • Great closing question!!  I never invisioned being a SAHM.  My mother was not one, so I had no real picture of it.  However now that I am a SAHM, I feel SO very priveledge to be able to!!   I know when my youngest goes off to kindegarten in three years, I will get those same kind of questions…”when are going back to work?”.   My husband and I pray that it is our financial option to SAH until our girls leave the nest!  In this day and age, our children need their parents attention and guidance as teens facing SO many big choices, just as much as they need us in the young years of potty training and learning ABC’s. 

    Stay strong in your conviction and commitment to being a SAHM…there are days that are exhausting and overwhelming, but I don’t have to tell you the reward will be great!     

  • Well I know that if I made enough money I wouldn’t make my wife work… I’d support her so she could stay home and get everything around the house worked on, and the kids taken good care of. I know how much work just staying at home can be. (I mean, right now I’m 21 and not married, but if I was married.. I think that’s how I would feel )

  • because you’re still working, but you don’t get paid.  on the contrary, your decision to not work and take care of your kids will turn out to be more beneficial to their happiness and wellbeing in life. i saw a documentary where a few people who won the lottery said how they feel. they weren’t happy because they didn’t know who their real friends were anymore. everyone was trying to steal that wealth. in my opinion, you made the best desicion possible.

  • Maybe I’m strange, but I’ve always had the desire to work. If I won the lottery/were born into insane wealth, I’d still work. But I see your point. You’re doing something very important!!


  • The difference is going out to work so that you can help “bring home the bacon”. If you win the lottery, you can afford to stay home because the “bacon” has already been brought. Unless, of course, your partner makes enough that you can live comfortably without you working.

  • I’ll tell you the difference: going out to work so that you can contribute to “bringing home the bacon” versus winning the lottery, in which case yu don’t have to because the “bacon” has already been brought. Now if your partner makes enough money that you can live comfortably, then I guess there is no need for you to work.

  • there was only supposed to be one of those lol

  • The reason people say that is because women are so liberated, to not take advantage of being able to work is a slap in the face to feminism. Hahaha I so don’t agree. Staying home with your kids is an amazing opportunity – they are your kids after all and you should feel liberated enough to stay home if you want!

  • as a sahm of 4 preschoolers, i just want you to know that i hear you. i get tired of people assuming that i’m at home b/c i just don’t have the skills or intelligence to do anything else. of course, anyone who has stayed home w/ their children should find that incredibly ironic… i know about my college education and i guess that’s enough! keep up the good work :)

  • you actually care for yerr kids. big kudos for mom da bomb!

  • You know, I’ve been lucky enough to be able to be a stay at home mother. It’s the most important, yet underrated role a woman can ever have in her life. Winning the lottery and being able to be lazy because of affluence is completely different than choosing to stay home and raise children. I get that line too ”Oh, so you just stay home and raise kids?” There is no ‘just’ about it. Why should any of us have children if we’re not prepared to see it through until those children are old enough to take care of themselves? or worse…what’s the point in having children that you pay some other woman to raise? You just go with your insticts lady and ignore those ignorant questions. Best of luck to you.

  • It’s just different priorities. People want to know why you’re not working, making money, because money is one of their top priorities. For you, your kids are, because you value them more than a comfy lifestyle – like winning the lotto would bring. My aunt’s the same way with her kids, because she believes raising them to be good people is a greater cause than her own comfort.

  • haha! nice post ;)

  • I don’t know the answer to your question but I think it is absolutely awesome that you are able to stay home with your kids and be a great mom. Lots of people/women that I know are very career driven and ambitious. That is great too, don’t get me wrong, but I think that being a mother is so so important and I think that if there were more stay at home mom’s then there would be less problem-children in the world. I wish for the day when I can stay home and take care of my family, at least part time. I don’t know if it will ever happen, and possibly if it does I would be dirt-poor, but I totally think it would be worth it. Someone above me put “Keep up the awesome job!” in their comment to you. I agree!

  • Do the people that make these comments have children? My guess would be no or if they do have children, maybe they are jealous.  If people are claiming that staying home with your children is “worse” than going back to work (as if you are not working at home already), they are only claiming it for themselves.  You know what works for you and it’s great if that is what you want to do and can make it happen.  You and your children are happy – that’s what matters.

  • good point. very good point. my sister is a stay at home mom and I have to say, I can’t imagine a harder, more demanding, high pressure job. It’s not just customers your dealing with, it’s the entire creation of a set of morals and a sense of character for someone who will potentially be a leader someday. I think so many parents don’t take that into consideration when they have kids. Seems like more and more kids are growing up without a sense of morals, in other words, sociopathic. When stories like school shootings become more and more common place, that’s the only real explanation I can think of, lack of a consistent positive parental role model. Then, media becomes the role model. So good for you, and keep it up. 

  • Its bekah here

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  • i wanna fuck you so hard and make you have another kid.

  • Basically it’s cos children, or “baby goats” as you call them, start off life shitting and puking, then spend a few years screaming near constantly for no apparent reason, then after you’ve wasted all your time, money and energy on them they turn into teenagers and start telling you they hate you….whilst spending money without having children is FUCKING UNBEATABLE.

  • Wow!  My friends and I used to do that and STILL do!  I just turned 40 and have three kids; I’m a stay at home mom.  I enjoy doing what I do.  I thank God that I’m able to do it.  I know that there are a lot of women out there who would love to stay at home with their kids but CAN’T.  I think it’s ridiculous that you have to explain yourself!  I have had people (literally) walk away from me after finding out that I’m a stay at home mom.  It’s like they don’t know how to have a conversation with me once they find out I don’t have a REAL job.  Loved your post!

  • Personally, I’m of the view that it’s better, if circumstances allow, for moms to stay home with the kids. But I just wish there didn’t have to be such judgment about it… why do those who don’t judge those who do? And I haven’t seen this as much, but why do those who do judge those who don’t? Reserve judgment for the people who whether they stay home or not, are sucky parents.

  • You’re working, sistah! Don’t let anyone say otherwise! And it is a matter of personal choice. Some moms seem to do better working outside the home, some moms do well staying home. If you love your child and are a good mom (working outside or not), that’s all that matters.

  • It’s hard to be a stay at home mom  and a lot of people don’t get that…they think its just laziness..but if people knew all the work it takes to “be at home” and all that a woman does to keep the house tidy–then it only takes a certain somebody to WANT to be home…Congrats you have a huge role!!

  • I’m 48 and my fiance, who is 33, want’s kids and she wants to stay at home with them. Thats why I’m working as much as 60 hours a week. If I play my cards right, she will be able to stay at home and I will be able to work regular hours. In my humble opinion there is no substitute for mommy. Well, except for a good friend of mine who is a stay at home dad, but you get the idea.

    As for winning the lottery, I think they were refering to laying on the beach and pretending they’re special. If I won the lottery I would see it as an opportunity to do more, not less.

  • I once heard that stay at home moms would bring about $155,000 a year if they were payed.  My wife is a stay at home mom and I’am very thankful that she is.  I think that if it is possible for the mom to stay at home do it.

  • are they moms too? O.o

  • Woah… you are speaking to me… straight to the soul. I feel like the most evil person in the world because I want to actually be with my kid. Everyone yells at me to get off my lazy butt and get a job and stop being lazy and dependent. It’s not like I enjoy being dependent on people but I can’t drive and I can’t afford daycare and even if I could I am not ready to put my not even 2 year old son in daycare. I know people who have worked in daycares and some of them are horrible. I agree with you… there is nothing wrong with staying at home and being there for your children. I think the more parents who spend time with their kids or the less working moms the more safer our world will be. Kids react more to what happens with them and their mother and a mother is key. I’m not the best example because my mother drives me insane but that’s because she was too clingy, bossy and pushy. She still is with my kid and quite honestly there are goods and bads to being a stay-at-home-mom but I think it’s good for you and your kids. It is however good for the mother to get out once in a while too though. Anyway, I enjoyed your post. Have a great week.

    ~Amber and baby Adam

  • People are the funniest people… :)

  • hahahahahahahaha…:)

  • people think being a stay at home parent isn’t a real job because there’s no paycheck, but it’s a very important job. if it weren’t for parents we wouldn’t be here. alot of people don’t appreciate the people who are training the next generation. parents have a serious impact on the future; the kids they raise today are the politicians, police, lawmakers, voters, and parents of tomorrow. the morals they give them shape what our world will be like when they are adults. keep up the good work, worldchanger.

  • i would say count your blessings that you can stay home with the kids. i think for the children to be able to have that much contact with a parent is rare these and soo important!!!

  • I personally couldn’t stand being a housewife, having nothing to do but tend to children and chores and depending on a husband for money that I could be making on my own.  Of course, if I were to marry somebody who was a millionaire, it would be a different story.

  • a freaking men…. I’m a little tired of people saying, “YOURE HAVING ANOTHER ONE?”  For pete’s sake we are number two not twenty and BTW… yes I still stay home and no I am never planning on putting my kids in day care- why?  because I love them, not to say that people who have to put there kids in day care don’t love theirs, but we are lucky enough to have found a way for me to stay home and I like it.  good grief people- this is how it should be, the world would be a better palce if all mothers had the opportunity to stay home- so WAY TO GO YOU for being in the “stay at home mom club”!!

  • I say horray to you(and the rest of us) and screw everyone else…

  • modern feminism
    +
    glass ceiling

    If you don’t strive to be economically successful, and accidentally getting lots of money counts, you are continuing the discrimination. Or so it’s argued.

    Everyone else has pretty good reasons too.

  • I don’t have children and I have not won the lottery. However I think being a stay at home mom is a job. I think more moms should do it, maybe then there would be less “messed” up kids in the world.

    Also as for winning the lottery and staying home, heck no. I would keep my job at starbucks so that I could keep my health benefits. No one ever thinks about that kind of thing when they think about not working after winning. besides we are social creatures it does us good to get out

  • http://digitcafe.hkwebs.net/thread-15962-1-1.html

  • hey.. we have the same layout.. anyways.. i totally agree.. people nowadays are getting weirder and weirder..haha.. being a mother is totally better.. it’s more worthwhile.. don’t you think?=)

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  • I tried to stay at home with my kids but the money was so tight and with my ex husband drinking most of his earnings down the drain I left him and got myself a job. Yeah I miss being with them during the holidays but my bf looks after them as he is a teacher and I get to earn money and buy clothes for them and give them treats. If I could I would work part time but at the moment its not possible to do so.

  • I don’t know about what I’ll do (I’m only 18 now and I’m thinking of becoming a lawyer) but my mom was stay-at-home for my whole life until recently.

    I have a 24yo brother, and sisters 16, 13, and almost 8.

    As my sisters and I got older, my mom would volunteer for more and more activities- she teaches 6th grade religious Ed two nights a week, adult ed once a week at multiple points throughout the year, serves on three separate committees, and is the leader of two girl scout troops. She doesn’t get paid much for any of it, but she loves teaching and being active and just volunteering leaves her with enough time to spend with her kids.

    Now that my brother is working, I’m going to college, and my next oldest sister is a junior in high school, my mom is getting her career off the ground at the age of 47. She is teaching as an adjunct at a nearby catholic college and is going to start taking classes soon so that she can earn her doctorate. She thinks she will have plenty of time to do this and still open a bakery/restaurant with my brother in her old age.

    That’s the incredible thing about how modern medicine effects health and longevity.
    She will (barring catastrophe) still have full possession of her faculties and maintain the ability to teach at the general retirement age of 65. If she retires then, she will have had an 18 year career. After that, she will still be able to expect at least 15 years of good health in which to do whatever she wants.

    A career is a great thing, but there’s no reason why it has to interfere with raising kids.
    In my opinion, the problem with America’s youth derives largely from a lack of parental involvement.
    Kids are sent to day care or left with a babysitter all day until they are old enough to go to school.

    Then, they are dropped off at latch-key in the morning, spend the day at school and then have music or dance lessons, tutoring, and sports everyday after school until dinner time. Weekends are usually full of parent-independent activities as well.

    Maybe having both parents working full-time gives them a “better quality of life,” but I think the meaning of the phrase is not what it should be.

    Live with fewer, smaller televisions, smaller, more affordable bedrooms, fewer, less expensive vacations, and no gas-guzzling $40,000+ SUV. If it means spending time as a family at dinner every night, I think it’s worth it.

  • Hello! I do both. I am a work-from-home-mom. I still have a job that demands 8 + hours a day from me, but not necessarily 8 consecutive hours. I get to be home where my kids need me. I am prolly not giving them 100% – but I can if I need too and they love having me home now. I have 4 kids ranging in ages 3, 12, 15, 19. One is grown now and gone – the other 3 still quite demanding with various activities. I have the ability to be flexible and it works so well! It is hard to be a stay at home mom and a single mom! But I have managed!

  • My girls have graduated high school, but I think that I have never gotten over the guilt of not being at home with them.  I tried several times to just be a stay-at-home but it never lasted more than a few months because of money.  I am glad for you that you are able to stay at home with your children.

  • My daughter thinks I gave up my life for her, because I chose to stay home, but the life I got in return was the greatest blessing ever.  I learned responsibility and unconditional love.  I learned compromise and unselfishness, organization and multitasking.  I learned how to have girlfriends and have made the best friends through my daughter’s activities.  I learned a million skills and developed into a better person because of the volunteer “jobs” I took on in middle school and high school.

    What a great career change!

  • I do not and will never understand the people who think that being a stay-at-home-mom is a sign of laziness, lack of ambition/sense of purpose, or a lower intelligence level. My mother was a stay-at-home-mom from the time she bore her first child ’til this day. She has seven children (me being the second oldest), homeschooled them all, and has become one of the greatest, most versitile cooks I have ever known. She was from a broken home, with a working mother. Since she got married she taught herself to do whatever was needed to take care of her family. She knows more about all sorts of things than any other woman I know. I have never met another woman who has the temerity to get up at the crack of dawn every morning and devotes her entire day to her family, living not a moment of her life for herself, and never asks a single word of thanks or acknowledgement. She is an MA in Music Performance, but has never once complained that she is not using her degree. If she won the lottery, guess what she’d do: she’d spend it all on her family and keep on doing what she’s doing. Why? Because she loves what she does.

    My hat is off to you for the life you have chosen. You have picked what is, in my opinion, the hardest career path a human being can choose: parenthood.

    Stepping down from my soapbox now.

  • because being a mom isn’t seen as having a job (being a productive member of society) even though it’s almost certainly an insanely larger amount of work…and what better way to help society than by adding to its population?

    but yeah, the view currently is a result from women joining the workforce.  it used to be that women were housemakers that catered to their husbands, making sure he felt comfortable and loved when he got home from work, as well as taking care of the kids and making sure the house looked great

    if you’re not getting paid to do the work, it must not be hard work, or so they’d think

    now that women are moving into the workforce, kids are seen as a hinderance to careers, not a joy in life in addition to following a desired career path.  when a woman leaves work to care for her kids, she’s seen as being selfish, staying home instead of going into work, except that the childless coworkers have no idea of the labor and more that goes into raising kids…

    my thoughts are a little disorganized, but you follow my intended meaning, right?

    i wish winning the lottery actually meant moving up in the world, but being an incoming college freshman, all that money could probably be spent just by sending myself to college

    i hate money, or rather, not having enough of it (or rather, not being able to have enough of it)

  • Spending time with family is good, yes, but why not the father who stays home while the mother does that business, eh?

    I say no more than 10% of all mothers should stay at home with their children, lest we deprive society of perfectly competent, intelligent women who could be making a real difference in the world instead of wasting it living vicariously through their children.

    If Nancy Pelosi, Condoleeza Rice, Marie Curie, Dorothy Hodgkin, and countless other significant women in politics, science, and business stayed at home, the world would be overall a worst place to live in.

    I respect stay-at-home mothers, but such an occupation shouldn’t be sought after by all women (which seems to be the consensus among the commenters). 

  • But, of course, had Kepler, Gallileo, Copernicus, Homer, Socrates, and all the other great men of history stayed home with their children (yes, I know, not all of them were married, but for the sake of argument let’s say they did) where would we be today?

    As to the main topic: Why is it seen as bad for a mom to have a job so important as making sure that her children are responsible and productive citizens? What could be called wrong with that? Who is better to lead by example than the parent, with whom the child can now spend more of the day?

    After all, that’s what people who decry SAHs are saying, in effect.

  • No one should be able to question the value of your children to you. Clearly, you HAVE won the lottery.

    : )

    I really enjoyed this entry, and goodluck with the friends.

  • Being a mother is a full time job.  I love moms! =]

  • Kudos to staying at home!!! You will be so in touch with your kids and they will be able to talk to you about ANYTHING!

    YOU ROCK AS A MOM!

  • I wish I had time to read all of the comments, but duty calls. Well, according to some commenters on here, as a SAH Mom, all I do is sit on my bum and watch TV all day while the kids nap.  My kids no longer nap, and the days are full of activities, playing, food preparation, errands, etc.  Even when they did nap, there was always something to be done around the house, phone calls, etc.  There’s not much time for being bored.  I am very fortunate to be able to stay at home with my children (personally and financially).  This is what my husband and I chose to do, for the benefit of the kids.  I, personally, could not send my kids to daycare because it would break my heart.  But I realize that not everyone has this luxury.  I grew up going to daycare…both parents worked, and it was not a bad experience.  My parents missed out on a lot of school stuff, but I knew they loved me.  I decided I want to be there for that “stuff”, though, and so taking care of them and raising them to be the best people they can be is now my job.  I have a college degree and could go out into the work force, but this isn’t what I want for my kids.  It isn’t easy, especially when society thinks you should do more.  I am amazed at moms who do work and manage to do all of the activities with the kids at the end of the day..so I am definitely not knocking the working mom.  I just think I wouldn’t be able to be the best I could be at work, home and with the kids if I chose to work.  So I chose to be the best with my kids.  From one stay-at-home mom to another, I applaud you!  It certainly isn’t easy, but it is so rewarding!     

  • You remind me of my step-mom, she stays at home too, but you can say that my family is spoiled, especially me and my half-sisters.  Why don’t you get a job anyway, if you’re not loaded with cash, you need to get a job, because your husband could divorce you any minute and you won’t have any cash of your own. Men like women who can provide also for the family. I may be 15, but I know a lot, you should take this into consideration. Its nice that you spend time with your kids and you raise them, just make sure your husband helps out too.

  • You remind me of my step-mom, she stays at home too, but you can say that my family is spoiled, especially me and my half-sisters.  Why don’t you get a job anyway, if you’re not loaded with cash, you need to get a job, because your husband could divorce you any minute and you won’t have any cash of your own. Men like women who can provide also for the family. I may be 15, but I know a lot, you should take this into consideration. Its nice that you spend time with your kids and you raise them, just make sure your husband helps out too.

  • You remind me of my step-mom, but my family is kind of spoiled, mostly my half-sisters and me.  You should consider to get at least a part time job because if you divorce, you won’t have money of your own. Plus, men like women who also provide.  You can’t control the money, if you don’t also earn it. I may be 15, but I know a lot. Don’t get me wrong, staying with the kids gives you a chance to bond with them and raise them, but make sure your husband helps out.

  • You kind of won the lottery without the money.  You get to be the one to influence your kids the most (rather than the daycare worker that is so likely to ADORE your kids.)

    As a dad, I would’ve liked to have stayed home with my boys while they were growing up.  But the wife wasn’t willing to support me..  go figure. 

  • I’m a SAHM for 6+ years now. I have to say that while it’s hard to be with the kids at times, I honestly do like them. I like who they are. We have lots of fun together and it’s rarely boring. My husband sacrifices alot for us to be able to do this and I’m really greatful to him for that. My mom worked most of the time, I wished she’d been around more often. It’s a life choice and seems differences are not easily understood. It’s awesome that we are alive in a time when we have these options!   

  • u have insanely adorable children

    you are so blesssed

    -kayla

  • Your kids will sure appreciate it…

  • I am also a SAHM…keeps me hoping. Good thoughts!

    heather

  • I meant to blog my comment on this site…I am also emotional purity

  • touche!

  • Um, you don’t know me and judging from how many comments you have you may not even get to this one. ; ) Anyway, my Mom is a stay at home Mom and I am so very grateful that she is. She works harder than most people because she not only works longer hours than a regular full-time job but she is also always on call. Thank you for being a full-time mother!

  • Becuase raising your children in this day and age is not looked on or respected in the way it should be.

  • Good for you for being there for your kids in a way no daycare ever could! I am a full-time student so I get to stay home with my little one too (most of the day anyway). She’s my main focus, I love it and I know that I’ll never have this opportunity again.

  • Because of feminism.

  • Cherish every moment of this time. It will go way to fast and you will wish you could go back in time and do it all over again. I stayed at home over 10 years with my children and would start over and do it again if I could. Not everyone is as fortunate as you are (and I was) and are given the opportunity to spend that time with the children they so desperately wanted to bring into this world. And to those who don’t understand and comment about you going back to work, just smile and know in your heart your happy just where you are and you have many years ahead to go back to work when your children are older!

  • Hey…My mom stayed home for over 24 years…She even homeschooled the four of us for most of our schooling…(except highschool…and some grades of elementary for me…)…and I will never be able to thank her or repay her for everything she ever taught me…I love her very much…and I will do everything in my power for my children to have the same…Keep up the awesome job…

    Mickey *o*

  • It was very interesting reading your post.  What is crazy is that I wrote a response to it, even before I saw this!  Weird, but please stop by and see.  My post is called Foreigners, and I think it relates pretty well to what you are describing.

    Sincerely,

    Josh

  • My mom has four kids, my 2 year old brother has epalipse, and i know it is hard for her to give the attention to all four of us. i know she think about how life would be better if she worked and didnt have kids or is she won the lottery but i love her for takin good care of us.studys show that being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world.

    I bet your a great mom. i wish you the best

    Sydney

  • It’s a good thing that you can stay at home with your kids. It would just be bad if the kids never get to see their mom alot.

  • you look 15

  • I definately agree with you, and while wealth and whatnot is great, one’s own kids are just as valuable as the lottery. People should admire moms like you because your out there making sure your kids get the love and guidance they need, and no one else can substitute what you’re giving your kids. I throw my hat off to you! :)

  • cudos for staying at home and raising your kids. most noble job ever. seriously.

  • I think it’s amazing that you stay at home to raise your kids rather than going back to work.

    Honestly I hope to do the same. Kids that don’t have their parents around tend to have behavioral problems.

  • I, too, am a mom of two children and many things have changed since I became a mommy..but all I can say is that watching children is the hardest job ever!! You should NEVER feel like it’s “just” watching kids. Never!!!

    Great entry~

  • As far as I’m concerned, you won the lottery. You have your kids.

  • my mother was a SAH for many years
    after my brother turned 8 she decided to go out and get a job, with us being older and out of the house more.
    its good becuase it keeps her busy and shes made a ton of new friends.
    but either way stay at home mothers need to be respected and honored.
    they provide full support all while upkeeping a house and holding that wonderful glow a mother has.

    you have the best job in all history!
    and honestly..after doing everything you’ve ever wanted with lottery money, you’ll be bored as hell.

  • What do you have, like 100 eprops? Just don’t forget that i remember when you weren’t so cool on Xanga; back before you were on’featured weblogs’! Maybe ‘hear my songs of worship’ will comment on my post tonight. At least there’s one person who cares what i have say on Xanga, or at least pretends to :)

  • Even though I’m only 18 (and childless) I think being a stay at home mother IS winning the lottery. Yeah there is a lot of work involved in being a mother, especially a stay at home one, but you get to be in the comfort of your own home, spend time with your children, and enjoy all the little things (like being there when the kids come home from school and stuff). I think if you quit your job because you won the lottery you would feel as if you didn’t have a purpose in life anymore. Being a stay at home mom gives you that feeling of purpose, while being able to stay in the comfort of home.

    Personally, I think I would choose to work even if I didn’t need to – even if it were just a part time job or something, because I don’t think I could take care of children (even mine) 24/7. Plus, I’m just an overachiever, haha. Again, I am only 18, so my perspective may change as I get older.

  • People are jealous…. And that’s it.

    They got mad at people who dun work while they have to…

    They need sth to keep themselves to work :P  

  • Those folks either don’t have kids, or their kids are like mine were: incredibly high maintenance. They were and are wondermuss, but I didn’t have a full night’s sleep for seven years. Some kids are easier than others and you never know until they pop out. Ohmigosh, but if I had had to work with the second like I did with the first? I would have been fired anyway because I was so exhausted.

  • If you love your job then you I’m sure you would keep it if you win the lottery.

    If you don’t love your job enough then I’m sure you would do something you love if you win the lottery.

    Staying at home and taking care of your children is wonderful. I definitely want to do that when I have children.

    I don’t think staying at home for children is worse.

  • The reason that some ppl have a problem with stay at home moms is because, in this day and age, when women have so many opportunities that women before them did not, people expect women to go out and work, even when they have children.

    Personally, I could never stay at home with children.  I’ll be honest–I hate children.  They bug the crap out of me and I’m getting my tubes tied as a present to myself.  But thats not the point.  The point is that you DID want them. You HAD them and now you want to stay home with them.  So do it.  People need to respect other ppls decisions.  Yours was to stay home and raise you kids. 

  • Thank you. My mother stayed home with us, and if I ever have kids, I will stay home with them. It is the most demanding, most rewarding job there is. And worth much more than the lottery.

  • Hi,
     I was just browsing sites when I came across yours. Anyway, have a great day.
     
    -Billy
    http://www.goodpersontest.com

  • Hi!!! how are you today

  •     WHEN A MOTHER HAS CHILDREN;  THERE IS NOTHING AS IMPORTANT IN THE WORLD AS THE CHILDREN,  AND AS SHE IS FORCED TO KICK IT UP A NOTCH ON TAKING CARE OF THOSE CHILDREN,  SO LIKEWISE;  SHOULD THE FATHER KICK IT UP A NOTCH IN WHAT EVER HE CAN DO TO IMPROVE INCOME WITHOUT SPENDING MORE TIME AT WORK . THE LESSER IMPORTANT THINGS ARE WORK AT THAT TIME . WHY ARE PEOPLE OBLIVIOUS TO THE FACT,  THAT THE MORE THAT THEY SPEND AWAY FROM THEIR CHILDREN ; THE MORE THEY HAVE TO PAY FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO TRAIN THEM.   PLUS THE PERSON THAT SPENDS THE MOST TIME WITH THE CHILD;  HAS THE CHILDS HEART . WHEN SOMEONE ELSE TRAINS THEM ;  THE CHILD IS MORE LIKELY TO GET INTO DRUGS,  AND GO TO PRISON.  BECAUSE ; WHEN THE CHILD IS BORN IT IS BORN WITH A VACCUM IN ITS HEART FOR THE PARENTS,  AND WHEN THE PARENTS DONT SPEND ANY TIME WITH IT .   IT WILL HAVE TO DROWN THAT VACCUM . THAT IS WHERE 60% WILL OPEN THEIR MINDS TO DRUGS . COME ON PEOPLE SOMETIMES I SEE THAT ANIMALS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE ON THIS ISSUE.  WHEN A BABY ANIMAL IS BORN WHERE DO YOU SEE THE BABY THE MOST.   BESIDE IT MOTHER  , AND WHERE IS THE FATHER FOR OF THE MOST PART.  FOR MOST ANIMALS THE FATHER IS  LOOKING FOR FOOD . A COUNTRY IS AS POWERFUL AS THE FAMILIES  IN IT. THE LIST GOES ON BUT I’M OUT OF TIME AND GOT TO GO TO WORK . EVERYONE HAVE A BLESSED DAY.

  • I don’t think they really think it’s a bad thing. It’s probably just a conversation topic to them!

    Personally, i think stay-at-home moms are great.

  • omgosh.. i’d have to say.. stayin out of work just to stay at home with ur kid is soo much better than winning a lottery. im a young single mom and i still work to pay em bills and stuff.. and i do wish i could just hang around the house and watch after my kid…

    but then i also wouldn’t mind winning the lottery so that i could do both.. skip work and take care of my kiddo. hehe.

    props for the blog. =)

  • I run into the same thing. I graduated from college about a year and a half ago, soon after my husband and I had a baby and I knew I wanted to stay home with her. Now that shes six months old I have people coming up to me asking me when Im going to start looking for work…I just tell them I am working, working to raise my child the best I can. I wish people wouldnt look down on moms who stay home with their kids, after all I think its a blessing we are able to stay home!

  • a stay at home mom has both the hardest job and the most fun job in the world! for as long as you can afford to; stay at home and raise your beautiful children… otherwise you are just paying someone else to do the job you are supposed to be doing!

  • well, I don’t know know how you feel because I’m only 13, but still, I never get out of the house

  • That’s a good point.

  • a person who thinks that staying at home to take care of kids ISN’T a job, the most important kind, is ignorant OR stupid. 

    why go to work and have a complete stranger at a daycare instill values into YOUR child? why go to work and have a complete stranger at a daycare discipline or praise YOUR child?  why have a stranger watch your child grow and learn and discover?  if you can stay at home, then by all means, it is a great thing to do. 

    any man who thinks that staying at home taking care of kids is no task at all needs to try it JUST FOR ONE DAY. 

    my mom stayed at home with me and my three siblings.  i am grateful.  i have a childhood full of memories with my siblings and MY OWN mother, and b/c my father worked close to our home, he would come home for lunch everyday.  so, my childhood is full of memories with him too.  my father wanted my mom to stay home.  once we were older, she went to work.  when i say older, i think i was in my late teens, while my youngest sibling was in middle school. 

    at the age of 14, at my bus stop, i was approached by a man who knew my family and he solicited me for sex.  i was devastated.  he had been stalking me, unbeknownst to me until that day.  i ran home, and i didn’t have an empty house to come home to.  my mother was there.  i was full of tears, and she was there for me when i needed her.  we didn’t have the fanciest clothes, but no name brand outfit could have replaced the comfort i felt when my mother was able to hold me BECAUSE she was literally there. 

  • I think there are more angles to your question that aren’t addressed. For some people, they have to work in order to provide; they aren’t lucky enough to have a rich spouse or parents. Being able to work to earn/setup that foundation can help parents take care of their kids greatly.

    For others, they simply can’t stay at home all day. Work might be their social outlet. Or maybe work is their break from the rest of their life.

    And still there are some people who have career goals that they want to achieve. It’s not necessarily that these goals are more important than kids or that a career goal is more important than the achievement of successfully raising kids; but maybe they view kids as something that was bound to happen whereas their career was something they would have to fight for. I know several people, particularly women, who believe that making it to the top in a male dominant society is just as great an accomplishment as their kids going to college.

    It’s not for me, you, or anyone else to say what’s right. If they can accomplish one without neglecting the other, then power to ya’.

    Personally, I might not quit my job if I won the lottery. I love my job and I love being part of the group that’s working hard to accomplish something. If I did quit, though, I wouldn’t just stay home or travel the world; I’d probably pursue my own business interests with some friends. Actually, family factors into this decision as I could set my own hours that are convenient for my kids if it was my business.

    Anyhow, I respect and endorse your viewpoints on remaining a stay at home parent, but I don’t frown upon others who would like to go back to work. I don’t think quitting to be with the kids and quitting because you won the lottery are the same thing.

  • You bring up a good point. What about this though: I am 27 years old, female, unmarried and what should I say when people ask me, :”you’re not married yet?”, “when and are you ever going to have kids?”, “are you in school, at least?”. Keep in mind, I’ve graduated from a top 20 university AND I STILL GET THIS CRAP!!! sorry…just venting…

  • When my wife and I are ready to have children, we planned it’s best for her to quit her job and stay home to take care of the kids. Why pay some strangers to take care of your own children? Use the precious time with the kids when they are young. They grow up fast.

  • “Don’t you want something because you hate the opposite”
    -Kickball

  • Good for you!

    It’s interesting. I’m in a stage of preparing for marriage right now and, frankly, I’m scared to death. Scared that marriage means children and children means commitment and responsibility and a constant laying down of my life for theirs. But once I have children I would not choose anything else in the world.

    I’ve talked to my mother about it (stay at home mom for 26 years), and she has not had an unfulfilled day in her life. She also has three incredible children who are firmly grounded in life, strong in their beliefs, and moving forward toward their dreams.

    Your life makes a huge impact. God Bless.

  • Hey, I just happened to see your post. and GOOD FOR YOU. my mom never worked when I was growing up. I can’t imagine how I would be like if she hadn’t. I see so many insecurities in kids these days. It’s like, mom’s aren’t even raising their own kids; other people are. other people, who don’t truely care for them. I feel so sorry for the kids. There’s just no stability in their lives!

  • hey like the site. its very nice. well my name is Samantha and i just wanted to stop by and say hello. well i gots to go k.

    leave ya girl some propz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ~*Samantha*~

  • hey like the site. my name is Samantha. well i just wanted to stop by and say hello. well gots to go.

    leave ya girl some propz!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ~*Samantha*~

  • Congrats on making the front page with such a great topic. I was a stay at home mom until my youngest was school age, then I went to work part time for several years before becoming a full time working mom. I have two kids in college and one high school junior. My kids often talk about how much fun we had together when I stayed at home. Even though our household income was not off the charts, we made it work by cutting corners and being smart about our budget.

    Those years at home with the kids is the best investment I’ve ever made. I’m very proud to say that all three of my kids have level heads on their shoulders (as much as young adults can..) and they all make smart choices for themselves.

    Keep up the good work raising productive members of society, we’re going to need them to care for us before we know it!

  • As a SAHM, anyone who has the nerve to say I’m not working should come hang out with my very active toddler for the day and see if they are as exhausted as I am and then tell me it isn’t work. It’s fun work and I love it much more then any good paying desk gig but it’s still hard and I only have one. Kudos to you for doing what you think is best for your children.

    And as someone in their 20′s who has random daydreams about winning the lottery, I would want to work in some way if I didn’t have kids, otherwise I would get pretty bored real quick.

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    hey im kevon, i want you to see my xanga please go on there. oh and please email me your coke codes on the bottom of your coke caps. to kandd@emptyvessel.org

  • I am not saying that staying home with your children is anything bad, I am just more for women finding independence through a career. It’s not the choice for every woman, but I would personally rather have the financial security and the ability to have my own life outside of the home.

    I just turned 20 and I am a year and a half away from getting my teaching degree. I cannot wait until I start my life teaching. Sure, I want to have a family when I am ready, but I am not the type of girl to be that devoted to her family that I would give up my biggest love, teaching.

  • oh, and as a child that had a working, single mom… i respect and appreciate my mom more than anyone in my life. she worked so hard to keep food on the table and to spend time with us after she got off of work. we were basically raised by our aunts, but i never felt like i didnt get time with my mother (or father, for that matter).

  • Ha ha. Nice comment. Who do you think you are saying that I don’t know enough for my age.  My parents divorced when I was 5, so I think I know better. the judge did rule in favor of my mom, and my dad did send child support payments, and yes I live with my dad, but my mom had to get a job to support us more because like you she was a stay home mom, but the situation was different than yours. So don’t tell me that I don’t know shit, all right. Don’t you think you should watch your kids rather than type a weblog on Xanga.

  • i meant if you weren’t working outside the home, for whatever reason, would you get bored of the same people and the same environment? i would be concerned that life isn’t full enough without lots of problems and stress and interaction, all of which can be easily provided via “work.” i am sure there are plenty of ways to “entertain” yourself outside of work… you know, volunteering and sewing things and whatnot. and if you’re not bored, it doesn’t matter. however, i didn’t mean, “are you bored this minute and so you decided to write a blog.” just so you know.

  • Staying home with your kids is admirable.  I think kids need more time withe mommy and less time with strangers at the daycare.  Some girls aren’t financially able to stay home with thier kids because they make more than their husband, and living off their husband’s income just wouldn’t be enough…so consider yourself lucky!

  • Those who don’t understand why you would invest your time and efforts into raising children, clearly have never RAISED them.  (and I did not sat they didn’t HAVE children)  One of the failings of our culture is that parents don’t spend enough time with their children.  People focus so much on themselves that they neglect thier own children.

    What would I do if I had a huge sum of money?  I think how we answer this shows something of our character.  I honestly don’t think my life would change.  I would likely still work because it won’t last forever.  I guess I would squander some of it on myself but most of it… no, I don’t think I would.

  • It’s funny, we live in a society where it has become increasingly more difficult to live off of only one incone, yet it seems there is a resurgance of stay at home/single income families as people shift priorities to living more frugally in order to avoid daycare.  i think over the last 10-20 years society has developed the idea that people need work to survive or feel like an individual. and I agree personally that i need that.  many people do, but often forget that not everyone needs that…that people can find personal fullfillment in simply raising their kids and being involved in their home environment. 

  • I’m a portrait photographer and Moms bring in their kids constantly on leashes, bribe them with candy and soft drinks, take them into an adjacent department to hit them if they aren’t acting exactly the way they’re asked to. There are so many fathers who also come in because they’re begged, are angry to the point of screaming that they have to watch their 18 month old. It’s barely a good feeling to have a child want to lay in your arms and cry when they’re in a parents.

    Anyway, it’s beautiful to hear that someone cares enough about their children to actually want to spend as much time with them as possible. I was worried for awhile that absolutely no one did, just with my experience.

  • I’d like to raise my children, too, someday. I used to detest the idea. But, now… definitely not. I can see it being fulfilling. And frustrating. And peaceful. And lonely. And exciting. And boring.

    Stay-at-home moms never get a break. Theirs is an extremely tough job, and I applaud you for having the stamina to do it!

  • Good words!  My mother stayed home and raised kids and actually homeschooled us all too. (all 13!)  She gave me a happy, healthy, wonderful childhood through her sacrifice.   The world may not thank you, but your children certainly will… someday, when they realize the gift you gave them. 

  • Hmm.  Interesting way to put it.  But I would say that being at home taking care of your children is a form of work…just different in a lot of ways.  Even you, I’m sure, could point many pros of working rather than being at home with your kids, and vice versa.

    I am also sure that it would be safe to say that if you had won the lotto, you wouldn’t give up on your kids.  So in that sense, maybe being a stay-at-home mother > working an 8-5 job. 

    I guess the question of why just be at home with your kids, is just as ridiculous of a question of why just work?

    Tell your friends to ess tee eff you.  Hah!  Let’s see if they get that one…

  • evey one has even i work even though i’m 16

  • Wonderful post! I quit work when I was ready to deliver our first child, and have never looked back. This is the hardest job you could care to take on, anyway! And I’m honing very marketable skills: problem solving, budgeting (to make it work on one income), interpersonal communications and relationships, multitasking, managing a high-stress and high-pressure work environment, etc, etc…the list goes on and on. But I do get tired of my job as being treated as “less than”. You’re in an adult conversation (finally!), and of course it’s the what-do-you-do stuff, and when I say that I’m a full-time mom, most folks have some really brilliant comment to make, like “Oh.”. *sigh* Oh, well. I know that what I do is important, so I’ll just wait for the rest of the world to wake up. ;)

  • Its really awesome that you stood up for what you want and not doing what your friends want.

  • VERY interesting point. I never thought of it that way, and I have had similar conversations with friends and have heard similar comments that you did with your friends years ago. People don’t change, and neither does truth. You’re so right.

  • my mom is a stay at home mom with six kids, and honestly, she works harder than anyone I’ve ever met. :] so when people say that to you, remind them that you ARE working, thank you very much.

  • taking care of kids IS WORKING!!!!! Dang it! Why don’t people get this!

  • Because children are gross and mostly a waste of time.

  • Because kids take money instead of giving it to you and people are selfish fucks.

  • I am 33 and I Ride with the other bus. I have always love children and have been lucky enough to be always working with them in one way or another. I really envy you, and you have the most important jobs of all time. And some people think that it is enough to procreate, and their job stops there.

    I plan to do something about a family before I turn forty, me and my mate have been thingking about it. He is such a wonderful teacher. So go on..be proud..be very proud. I love my Mum.

  • LOL… geez like there is NOTHING for you to do huh?

    I actually miss staying home. I think it is wonderful that you have the opportunity.

  • i guess the difference between staying home as a mum and winning a lottery and staying home is different.

    winning a lottery and staying at home is more like..u enjoy a luxurious life, go on a shopping spree and all the rest. whereas, staying home with kids isnt really considered as a ‘luxurious’ life and u cant go on shopping spree and all..

    thats just how i see it

  • I understand the dilemma, but what about those mom’s that work and raise their kids at the same time? I don’t think I could just stay at home if I won the lottery, too boring. Money makes things easier, but not more exciting.

  • I think that being a stay at home mom is God’s design! My Mom was and still is with my brother and sister a stay at home mom and she loves it! Your kids benefit so much from having you at home with them. I worked in daycare for a few years and really saw the struggle some of those kids had becuase of the lack of attention from thier praents…those kids were the ones at the school from open to close everyday. So bottom line is….forget the lottery the memories you are making with your children and the values you are teaching them are priceless!!

  • It’s frustrating – I wish that when we have kids I would be able to stay  home.  At the same time, I hate that people also look at mothers who do not stay home as though they are horrible!  We got ourselves into a situation where it will be impossible for me to not work, at least part time, but that doesn’t make us bad parents.

  • Im a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) myself and truly, its a full time job. Although I must say, its rewarding seeing our lil ones being brough up. Its a joy!!  I really dont look fwd to “going back to work”. LOL

  • I think it’s about priorities.  When you become a parent your life changes, from that moment on you will always be a parent and the safety and well being of your child should be the number one priority in your life.  Being a stay at home mom is frowned upon in this day and age because people cannot see the value in it.  We see value in having a successful career, making good money, taking expensive vacations, and having the “American Dream.”  What we don’t understand is that none of those things are permanent.  The investment of time, energy and especially love, we make in the lives of our children is because it shapes who they are.  What we invest in our children today will define what happens tomorrow.  So invest away. 

  • I believe that if you are financially stable and able to stay at home with your kids, then that’s wonderful!!! I personally hope i will be able to one day stay with my own kids and watch them grow. I mean, that’s the point of it right? To be able to watch your own children grow up and to see and be apart of all their achievements.
    Then again, there are families out there, that have no choice but to have others watch after their children for them. It’s hard to make a living these days and some families need to work two jobs in order to put food on the table and a roof over their heads.
    Winning the lottery is great, of course. It is not that it’s worst to stay at home with your kids than staying at home when winning the lottery. I think it’s more like, it doesn’t happen often that families can stay at home with their kids and not work, so people don’t expect it as much.

  • Well said. I’m only 19 right now, but when I do get married and have kids, I’d really like to stay home with them. My mom was stay-at-home and she worked incredibly hard for my sister and I. Some people don’t realize what it takes to be a stay-at-home mom. I think a lot of people believe you’re just sitting around and playing all day. My boyfriend is incredibly supportive of what it is that I’d like to do. He’s already promised me that if we end up married, he’s leaving the choice to me whether I want to work after kids or stay home with them. If I absolutely had to work to help maintain income for the family, then I’d certainly do it. But I’d rather be there for my kids…

  • That’s a good question and one I don’t have an answer for. I think staying at home to care for your family and raise your children is FAR more productive and a bigger contribution to society (think about the kind of people you’re rasing and how they’ll contribute to society themselves as adults) than not working simply because you have money and don’t need to. I work harder now than I ever did when I had a nine-to-five job and no family but I feel this is far more rewarding.

  • because if you won the lottery you would have financial security. since you didn’t win, you only have so much to spend. what about your children’s college funds? what about in cases of emergency? rather lazy of you isn’t it, living off of someone else’s paycheck?

    how embarrassing.

  • I’m with ya’ – I stayed home the first 12 years with my 4 kiddos and wouldn’t trade a moment of it.  I always felt like the whole feminism ‘have it all, career, kids, and home’ was a crock, and I felt the most fulfilled when I was taking care of my family.  I don’t regret that I work now, because the kids are older and have their own lives, but I’m sure glad I was able to be there when they were little.

  • Not many Moms stay at home with their kids. There are only a special few who do that. Mom has to work because she’s a single mom but she tries everyday to stay at home and it makes her SO easy to talk to. YOu are totally AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! (your kids are totally cute by the way!) 

  • is being a full time mommy not a full time job? It’s not even a 9-5 job. It’s a 24 hour 7 days a week job. People and I mean people because there are some husbands that stay at home and watch the children. Those that never done that..well they have no clue how hard it is to be a full time mom. No friggin inkling. If they ask me stupid questions like that, I just tell them I”m more of a man/woman than they ever will be until they go through 9 months being pregnant, give birth, then take care of them.

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    <TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width=”100%” background=”" height=250 UNSELECTABLE=”off”>Maybe I’m not too clear on your entry.  Did you or did you not win the lottery?  If you did, then heck yeah you deserve to stay home all you want and spend countless hours of fun and bliss with your kids.  And if you didn’t, you still deserve to spend all the time in the world with your kids.  It’s really a question of whether you and your family are doing financially okay with you not having to work.  Truthfully, working is just a necessity.  People tend to find jobs that they enjoy doing…like me for instance.  I am one to always ask myself of that millionair question.  For a long time, I’d always imagine that even if I had billions and billions of dollars, I’d still keep my job.  But, recently, I thought about it and said, “Heck with it, as much as I love my job, I can definitely enjoy all the beautiful things of being a rich woman; traveling all over the world and spending time with my son.  So, don’t worry about those that keep on asking you.  They are just probably envious that you can afford to stay at home. 
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  • There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a full-time mother.  People really don’t realize how much time & effort it takes to raise children, and how important it is.  I often see friends lacking in manners or respect for other individuals because of their loose upbringing (since both parents work full-time).  For moms like you who still spend considerable amount of time for the betterment of character in their children, I applaud you and all other moms.  Moms rule!   

  • Hi, saw you on the starred section. I’ve had this debate with myself before. For me, the point to being a stay at home mom would be to not have to get strangers to take care of my kids (when I do have them). But at the same time, I wouldn’t want to have to give up a career for my kids.

  • Good Question!  Thanks for making me feel better about being a ‘stay at home’ mom in my 40′s. 

  • WOULD  LIKE TO  BE  MY FRIEND

    FROM BRITNI07

  • you know it’s funny cause i’m in my 20s and a good friend of mine and i just had a conversation about being rich and how sad it is that we aren’t. i guess everyone just wants to do their own thing and in your 20s staying at home means you can sleep in until noon or go off to trek through africa at a moments notice, as opposed to later in life when you have kids, staying home is viewed as still having a job, which it is, and having responsibilities.

  • People don’t seem to understand the depth of being a stay at home mom. It is truly a hard working 24-7 job. I guess I can understand because I am a mother myself. If you can do it then I say more power to you because even myself I find it hard. It’s a blessing to be able to see your kids grow literally. Doing what’s best for your child is always key. Good points though. Staying home for a child is like winning the lottery. Some people are not as fortunate and do not have the means to afford staying home. =)

  • You did win the lottery, you have two beautiful kids!

  • When you grow old and your children do not put you into a Home, you know you did your job right.

  • I applaud you.  I was a stay at home mom and loved it (doesn’t mean that sometimes I wanted to pull my hair out, but…then again working sometimes does that to me as well !!    I just recently had the priviledge of going to my son’s (who is 28) wedding and watch him marry the woman he has been waiting for a LONG time.  I have 8 siblings and absolutely LOVED being in a large family (didn’t mean that we didn’t have our share of problems, just that when it came down to it we were and have always been there for each other).  One of my sisters who is 3 years older than I, attended my son’s wedding and with all the pride that I have gave me the best compliment I ever gotten.  (first of all let me explain that she has never had children and married when she was 37. married for 12 years and her husband left her for another woman ;-(   she has always been a career woman and has done very well.  She has won MANY accolades in her career and has been very successful in her life.  She once told me that when she dies that she won’t have children to help her (which I continually tell her I will be there for her)).  As I am standing there watching my son and his happiness and my daughter and her husband with their 4 children and feeling a sense of another step of accomplishment !!  She walked over to me and said “you know, I wish that I could feel what you feel right now”, (with tears in her eyes) “I have won many things and won MANY accolades, but raising a family and as your family grows, is what life is all about”  (this does not mean that those that do not have children are worthless, on the contrary.  Each one (along with my sister who has mentored NUMEROUS kids and has many accomplishments to her credit) has been given time and time is SOOOO precious that how we choose to live our life and what we do to affect others is so important!!!   As a mother, our roles are VERY important and in our thechno life that we now have, I pray that we never loose that one on one time with our off spring and that we can make a difference in our country.  Keep up the great work and NEVER let anyone make you feel badly about staying home and loving your kids, as was put above they grow up very fast and then comes the next step “grandchildren”, they are SO wonderful!!!

  • Congrats on being featured. I have been a stay at home mom my whole motherhood, and my boys are now 21 (college grad) and 18, high school senior. I wouldn’t change it at all, well maybe I would have done some things better, but at age 49 I will say you have picked the best and most rewarding career of all. Christy, Indiana

  • It’s worse because you’re a slave to a fucking kid, you moron.

  • cool post. do you not still want to win the lottery? that would be the best of both worlds (20′s and 30′s) !!! =D

  • Why is staying at home and taking care of the kids considered not working? You aren’t getting paid, for sure, but it seems to me that there’s a lot more work involved than if you stayed at home because you won the lottery.

    It’s nice that you’re doing what you want – I know my mother would have loved to be able to stay at home when I was growing up.

  • ya~You are right!
    I totally agree!
    You is a good mother^^
    I support you!^^

    your two child are lovely^^
    Say hello to them!^^

  • It sounds like you did win the lottery!  Being a full time mom is exhausting at times, but there is no greater prize than to have the opportunity to be available to your children when they are growing up.  I am so thankful that I can stay at home with my kids.  Between the homework and laundry there is a great opportunity to teach your little people to be amazing adults.  I have found that noone I can hire cares as much as I do about my kids.  They can do the labor of raising children, but rarely will you be able to find someone who will invest their heart in the job.  You are giving your children the greatest gift, showing them that your choice is them.  Kids grow up so fast!  I applaud you for investing your time in them.  The world will benefit from your focus. 

  • I THINK THAT THAT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO TRUE! I can understand , having 2 little sisters. The thought occured to me , that one day , chances are , I’ll be a parent. As 2 screaming little sisters did what they do in the back seat , I realized that unlike me , mom especially , gets the brats 24/7 all the time! The sickening realization is scary. But I can also say that there is hope for the weary hearted. They themselves get better when they get older. They realate better….(A tip from a guy who knows)

  • i thought the entire point of the women’s movement was so that women now had a choice. you made your choice. what’s the deal?

    that’s all i’ll say …

  • This is incredibly cheesy, but hey it was what came to my mind after reading your blog.

    You have won the lottery. You have wonderful children who are going to turn into strong, beautiful adults with good morals and a strong sense of family values. Seeing as this prize is also a job, you hopefully get paid with kisses, hugs, smiles, home-made macaroni necklaces and “thank you”s. And guess what! You aren’t being taxed for any of this!

    Screw people. I admire you whole heartedly, and whether or not they tell you, your family appreciates it.

    I don’t know you, but **hugs** keep being amazing.

  • Hello my name is Holly (kozlovsgal) I really enjoyed reading your xangy post.

    I may not be a mom nor I have plans to be. However, I really commend mother’s out there whether they are “stay at home” or “going out to work”

    Here is a joke to brighten your day (or at least I hope it does) What’s the difference between moms and dads?1.- Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.

    Beautiful picture :)

    Take care, God bless, and Peace~Holly

  • I think it all depends on where you work! Take me for instance, I don’t have a job yet! But I plan for summer jobs to be at a horse stable! Sure it won’t be much fun mucking stalls, but I won’t care because I was born without a sense of smell, AND I love horses more than anything! I’d rather spend all day mucking stalls so I can stay away from my family!

    They’re good parents, but I hate them! They’re annoying (not to mention it too tempting to murder my sister) kidding! But long story short! I would love work and wouldn’t dream of anything else!! I don’t know about you personally, but I actually would have to agree with your friends…. Don’t you ever wanna dump the kids somewhere… to do anything? Not just work, but go party with your friends, go to places you normally wouldn’t bring the rug rats, see that rated R movie you seen in commertials? Anything?

  • it’s funny because i’ve always wanted to still work after i’ve had children but in my current [& serious] relationship right now my boyfriend has told me that i have to promise him that i’ll stop working when i have kids for at least a year.

  • hey and how old are you now   no offense but arent you a little old to be on this site

  • because you can’t use your kids to buy stuff… lottery winnings on the other hand… 

    parenting is tough work.  i’m inclined to believe that there are likely many days when parenting is tougher than going into the office… though likely more satisfying.

    some people are just ignorant.  staying at home to raise your kids is not the same as staying at home because you won the lottery.  it’s not worse.  it’s better… you’re doing something meaningful with your life.  and it’s a full-time job being a stay-at-home parent… especially if you want your kids raised properly in this messed up society. 

  • nice entries!

  • I’m a SAHM, too, and it’s the best and most challenging and exhausting job in the world.  I agree with so many of the comments here; staying home to raise children is, in my opinion, the single most important job anyone can hold.  It requires more skill, patience, organization, and multi-tasking than any other job I can imagine.  Plus, I can’t imagine letting someone else raise my children: I brought them into this world, and I intend to take responsibility for them.  No one has ever criticized me for continuing to stay home, but I can tell some of my friends who don’t have kids can’t figure out what I do all day or why I’m not bored out of my mind (and why my house isn’t spotless…)!  Unless you stay home with your kids, you have no idea the kind of work it is.

    Keep up the good work, and don’t be discouraged by anyone who asks such ridiculous questions–they may one day understand.

  • I’ve seen high school musical 2 already troy and gabriella (or whatever) break up and troy almost goes out with sharpay. and sharpay’s brother doesnt do whatever she says
    gabriella quits her job near the middle of the story and at the end troy and gabriella kiss 3 times in a row withing 40 seconds

    I got it 2 days before today so yah just wanted to spoil it for everyone

  • I’ve seen high school musical 2 already troy and gabriella (or whatever) break up and troy almost goes out with sharpay. and sharpay’s brother doesnt do whatever she says
    gabriella quits her job near the middle of the story and at the end troy and gabriella kiss 3 times in a row withing 40 seconds

    I got it 2 days before today so yah just wanted to spoil it for everyone

  • I’ve seen high school musical 2 already troy and gabriella (or whatever) break up and troy almost goes out with sharpay. and sharpay’s brother doesnt do whatever she says
    gabriella quits her job near the middle of the story and at the end troy and gabriella kiss 3 times in a row withing 40 seconds

    I got it 2 days before today so yah just wanted to spoil it for everyone

  • I’ve seen high school musical 2 already troy and gabriella (or whatever) break up and troy almost goes out with sharpay. and sharpay’s brother doesnt do whatever she says
    gabriella quits her job near the middle of the story and at the end troy and gabriella kiss 3 times in a row withing 40 seconds

    I got it 2 days before today so yah just wanted to spoil it for everyone

  • I think its great that you don’t work and can stay at home with your kids. I eventually want to do that also when I decide to have children. I think its good for the kids because you have more time to devote to teaching them things and helping them with homework, or anything like that.

  • props.

  • WHEN U ALREADY START READING THIS DONT STOP OR ELSE SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN…MY NAME IS JENNY…I AM 7 YEARS OLD WITH RED/ORANGE HAIR, PENCIL SHAVINGS THAT GOT SHOVED UP MY BUTT , MY MOTHER BEATS ME I LIVE IN A CELL WITH NO WINDOWS DOORS AND NO LIGHT, I HAVE RED SCARY EYES AND IHAVE NO NOSE OR EARS. I AM DEAD. IF YOU DONT SEND THIS TO 15PPL B4 U GO TO BED I WILL APPEAR 2NIGHT WITH A KNIFE AND KILL U THIS IS NO JOKE SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO U AT 10:22 SOMEONE WILL CALL YOU OR TALK TO YOU ONLINE AND SAY I LOVE YOU OR ASK YOU OUT BUT HERES THE CATCH, YOU HAVE TO SEND IT TO 15 DIFFERENT PEOPLE…

  • I maybe a young guy but I agree. It’s perfectly ok in our society to stay home if you have money like winning the lottery, but it’s not ok if you have kids. It’s a tough job being a stay at home parent and you are working just not in the traditional sense.

  • haha interesting!

    i dont know why people ask those questions either. i think stay-at-home moms are a blessing. they devote all their attention to the kids and things around the house. my mom, in fact, is one. =)

  • i would say that the majority of the comments say that moms should stay home.  how nice that would be,  you really gernerated quite a sensation here.  good for you!  my mom was at home only for a short time.  by the time i was in grade school, she was working away from home.

  • hi my name is Lisa michelle webb

    iam new this stuff! Iam staying home mom

    we would keep n touch

    have a nice day!:)

    lisa

  • I have never thought being a stay at home mother was not having a job. Frankly, I am never going to have children for my own personal reasons, but taking care of children and keeping a house up and running is a hard, full time job.

    I’m a college student and I spent this summer staying home, taking care of the house. I’m sure many people thought I was being lazy or burdening my boyfriend because I didn’t have a job. Hell, even my own mother thought that this summer was a vacation. In reality, there’s always something going on in my life and I rarely get a minute to sit down to enjoy myself and I never get a day off. I’m too busy cooking, cleaning, organizing, doing laundry and dishes, etc. Besides that, I’ve had some things go on in my life in the past few months that have made it truly hectic and chaotic.

    Don’t worry about what people who don’t understand your life think of you. What matters is your children, your husband, and most of all you.

  • That’s so awesome if you have the means to do so. I wish that society would be more forgiving about it. Like most things I find we can’t find a happy medium or acceptance for those who don’t wish to keep a “real” job. I think it should be up to the person what their career is, and if that’s a homemaker then why not? I’m pretty sure we need more caring dedicated parents like you both moms and dads. Good luck with your beautiful children. :D

  • I think being in a position where you can afford to comfortably stay home with your kids instead of working is practically winning the lottery I am in college right now and engaged it is my goal to someday be a stay at home mom and some people don’t understand why I am in school if I just want to stay at home with a family. I am going to school so I can save money and when I have children I will be able to afford to give them the life I hope to someday give to another person.
    You have won the lottery some people just don’t see that!

  • I usually don’t read the featured content but happened to go there tonight to sign in and saw the happy faces on your profile pic and clicked to read.  How do you get featured anyway?  Cool and what a great post to feature, I’m glad you made featured content, a post well worth it!-myra jackson

  • I think it’s so interesting that we live in a world where women are more expected (and inclined) to make a good portion of the family income, and women who choose to spend their living taking care of their children are considered unsuccessful or unwise for this decision! In many years when I have children I would LOVE to be able to stay at home and care for them and take care of our house. I don’t know how it’s possible to get bored with children, there is always so much to do. But I think if I were to get bored I would do some volunteer work or find some way of bettering the community.
    Props to you for living the life you choose with your children!

  • What I want to know is what the hell you’d do all day if you actually did win the lottery and quit your job…Sure you could travel the world, but even that would end less than a year (or you’d run out of money first)

    [I think most of these lottery winners end up completely ruining their lives too since they couldn't control the money and couldn't get rid of all the other people (probably relatives) after their new found wealth)

    What’s wrong with being a stay at home mom anyways? That’s what my mom did and I turned out pretty well as a result (probably would not have if she didn’t to tell you the truth)

  • I guess we women pushed too hard for “equality” but hey – there are lots of stay at home dads!

    ~Mel

  • You can not call in sick when you are a mom.  NO paid vacations.  If you do go on a vacation, you have to either take your kids (and thus NOT a vacation!) or talk someone into watching them for a week.  Being a mom is THE HARDEST ‘job’ since the beginning of time.  And you don’t just have 6 month or yearly reviews– you have them all the time.  When you are at the store and your kid is screaming, if your kid ever gets sunburned, a bruise on the head, etc.  Being a mom truly is a round-the-clock duty.  It would be much easier to hire a nanny and leave every day for work.  Is there anything wrong with that?  Who would I be to say?  But wanting  to be a stay at home mom is ANYTHING but selfish, lazy. And anyone who says otherwise really has to be from another planet.  A sahm’s day is typically full of selfless acts, usually putting herself last.  Also, you would have to make a lot of money to justify putting more than 2 kids in someone else’s care.  

    It is the hardest responsibilty and staying home to do your ‘job’ really is a big deal.  And, somehow, at the end of everyday, it really is worth all the work!

  • I’m croire!This is the 3D me.
    Make your own,
    and we both get Coinz!

  • i wouldnt be able to stay home with the kids. while i realize its a lot of work to run a household, i would just go insane. i would keep a part time job at the minimum. simply because i need a variety. besides, as bad as this sounds, spending that much time with someone (even someone as wonderful as my son) twenty four seven, day in and day out, i would get very very tired of being around him. he would drive me insane. lol

  • I am a stay home mommy but I did work out side the home.
    It is the hardest job you will ever do raising children. There is very little support and thanks but in your heart you have to know you are doing the right thing. The world will be a better place if more moms could raise their own children. I know some just don’t have the choice so count yourself blessed.

  • I am 28 yrs. old and am a SAH Mom to my kids 5 and 2– I tell you- it’s the best job in the world!!!  It’s prob. the hardest job in the world, but I guarantee that it is the most rewarding job there is! My children are my responsibility and I don’t want some daycare provider to have to raise, teach, and train my children.  I believe it’s the husband and father’s responsibility to provide for the family and the mother’s responsibilty is to be exactly that- MOTHER to the children.  So- I commend you for staying at home w/ your kids! Hang in there!

  • There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to stay home with the kids if that’s what you want to do.  That is a job in itself so good for you. I have a Xanga site here but it’s Hello Kitty so it’d be better if you’re interested to check out my main one at http://musingsmelancholy.blogspot.com where I write daily. Don’t be scared away by the Hello Kitty layout it is written by me about me.

    The one here is written by Hello Kitty with me using the keys to speak her thoughts. I also have one at LiveJournal which is mainly poetry. http://gloomybardgirl.livejournal.com.

  • I totally agree with you! How could anyone downplay the importance of investing in your children, family and your home? I totally believe that children gain a lot from having one of their parents at home with them. It’s much easier to keep the home organized and conducive to a “family” environment because someone actually has time to keep things routined and structured. Plus, what could be more important than investing in your own children?

    My dream is to be a stay-at-home mom. My mother got to stay home with me and it was one of the greatest gifts in my life.

    Also, taking care of children and a home is a FULL-TIME job. People act like its not work, but it is a 24/7 job, not just 9-5. I also agreed with all of the financial advantages to staying at home (ie. no pre-school bills, commuting costs, time and ability to follow a grocery budget).

    Go you!

  • I agree! I wish my mom had stayed home, maybe we’d be closer. And who says watching kids isn’t work? If they’re anything like my little sister, and they probably aren’t, THAT’S work.

  • I am a first time mother. My son is eight months old and I have only been back at work for two weeks. I loved being a stay at home mom. The only problem with it is, though the reward for being home with your children is worth much more than any amount of money, it unfortunately does not pay the bills.

    My husband, an occasional Powerball player, asked me just a few nights ago what I would do if we won the lottery. I gave him an honest answer; an answer he said he had never once before heard. I would want to have a ton of kids. If I were able to stay home twenty four seven and devote all of my time to my children without hindering my ability to provide for them the material things they need, I would definitely be working on my second child by now, and dreaming of my third, fourth, etc.

  • Sorry about that earlier comment. I didn’t realize I was logged in under my husband’s account. LoL

    I am a first time mother. My son is eight months old and I have only been back at work for two weeks. I loved being a stay at home mom. The only problem with it is, though the reward for being home with your children is worth much more than any amount of money, it unfortunately does not pay the bills.

    My husband, an occasional Powerball player, asked me just a few nights ago what I would do if we won the lottery. I gave him an honest answer; an answer he said he had never once before heard. I would want to have a ton of kids. If I were able to stay home twenty four seven and devote all of my time to my children without hindering my ability to provide for them the material things they need, I would definitely be working on my second child by now, and dreaming of my third, fourth, etc.

  • Dear Mom Da Bomb:

    Your Query:   Why is not working so that you can stay home with your kids viewed as being worse than not working so that you can stay home because you won the lottery?

    The difference between the two is that the mom who stays home because she won the lottery has more money, and money commands respect far more consistently than the unavoidable prominent lack thereof.   From the human perspective, money is nothing to sniff at, to be sure.

    People don’t seem too concerned about how you made your money, witness the Kennedy family being adulated, despite public knowledge that the grandfathers earned their keep making and distributing moonshine during the Prohibition Era. 

    Shakespeare may help a bit in this regard, where Polonius tells his son, Laertes (provided I have their spellings correct):

      “Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,

     But not express’d in fancy; rich, not gaudy;

     For the apparel oft proclaims the man,” 

    This is just one strong aspect of being human, our adoration of wealth, so much that it indelibly changes us to the core of our characters. 

    Yes, there is a distinct difference, and people who don’t weather than change very well with the acquisition of sudden wealth fall by the wayside rather quickly, in financial ruin, unable to hold onto that wealth.  A fool and his money are soon parted. 

    Love, Padooker

  • Very good point!

    It seems like you are a very good mother!

  • I am a single parent of an baby boy (9m)  I am active duty Navy.  You have won the friggin lotto honey!!  Screw them baby doll … your life is my lotto.

  • wheew! i certainly agree with you! we share the same sentiments. i’m also a stay at home mom. sometimes, i feel like im unproductive but when i get to see my children gosh! i feel so fulfilled because they’re smart children, loving and they make me feel complete as a woman and a wife! Well i guess being a mom is the most fulfilling job ever!

  • I certainly agree with you! We share the same sentiments. i, also is a stay at home mom. sometimes, i feel like i’m unproductive. but when i get to see my children, gosh! i feel fulfilled. my children are smart and loving kids. it’s different when you see your kids grow up in your own hands rather than seeing them grow up with their nannys right! I guess becoming a mom is the most fulfilling job ever!

  • I was 40 when I became a mother and I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to do more than stay at home with my children. We had just gone through the intense process of adoption. Why would I do that just to give my boys to someone else to raise while I worked? Being a stay at home mom isn’t being lazy, it’s being responsible; while lying on an island with big bucks in the bank could be considered lazy.

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